Val-isms

Metcha Day 2011

This past week was Linda & Sophie's 'metcha day' anniversary - the day they met each other for the first time!  This year marked their 6th anniversary.

Though there was nothing special planned on the day, we all acknowledged it and Linda said "I officially have known Sophie more than half of her life!".

I think it's a win-win for both of them.  They have each touched each other's lives in such positive ways.  I'm grateful that they have forged a bond between them that provides Sophie the opportunity to have an impartial person to talk to when her Mom's may be too 'close' to the situation. 

And though Linda has said time and time again that she never really saw herself as a Mom, I think that the relationship she has with Sophie affords her the opportunity to be maternal and be a mentor to a child who really has a lot in common with her; an only child and Asian.

Happy 6th anniversary to my favorite 2 people in my life!

A nice story

The path our lives take sometimes truly prove, at least to me, that God exists and that people, after all is said and done, are just people.

It doesn’t matter what your title is.  It doesn’t matter where you live or how much money, material objects, or toys you accumulate over your life.

At the end, how you treat people and how people treat you is truly how a life is measured.

Sure, we’re all trying to succeed professionally and make a comfortable life for ourselves and our family, but family… there it is, that multi-defined word. 

Let me tell you a story.

A couple was together for many years and for whatever reason, they broke up.  It was not a mutual decision and person A was the one who made the decision.  Person B was not happy… actually very angry and upset.

They shared a child and though they weren’t seeing eye to eye at the beginning, they agreed that as far as the child was concerned, the ‘family’ would remain intact.  And they did this.  Even so far as to continue to occasionally have meals together.   The 3 of them – the broken-up couple and their child.

Person A fell in love with someone (Person C) soon after they broke up with person B.  They included the child in their relationship after a year of being together.  Person B was not happy with Person C being at all involved in the ‘family’ – specifically with the child.

After a few years, person A invited person B to join with a Rosh Hashanah meal with Person A, C and child at their home.  Person B accepted.  Then person B invited Persons A & C to their home for Thanksgiving and Christmas at their home.  All parties accepted.

Person C became known to Person B’s extended family and was accepted.

Now person B has many animals including a dog, cat & guinea pig.   Person C's offer to be the dog-walker for person B’s dog was accepted in August after she offered to do it at a savings for person B!

In early September, during the hurricane, my parents lost power and we had them come stay with us and then we lost power, but we still had hot water.  Person B invited us all over for dinner, as she still had power, and provided us space for our frozen food.

In mid-September, person B’s mother broke her leg and was suffering complications due to diabetes and person B needed to be with her in Florida for an unknown amount of time.  Who would take care of the animals – specifically the dog, while person B was away?

Person C stepped up and offered to do this, which involved moving herself into person B’s home (which used to be person A’s home, too!).

As you might surmise, this scenario was a reality for me (Person A), Linda (Person C) and my ex (Person B) during the time period of mid Sept thru now.  In fact,  my ex ended up being away for 3 weeks and during that time, Linda stayed at her home and not only took care of the animals, but was also available for Sophie after school each day and sometimes got her off to school in the morning on some days.

My ex returned home (after her Mom was somewhat stable) on Oct 9^th, remained home for a week and departed again to Florida on the 16^th.   Linda was all set to move back over to my ex’s house again, when my parents stepped up and offered to take Shiloh (the dog) over to their home, so that Linda could remain in her own home (with me!) and could just resume her dog-walking duties (in addition to checking on the guinea-pig & the cat) each day.

My parents still consider my ex as part of their family, which makes sense, since they’ve known her for the past 34 years and continues to spend time with them and has continued to help them out over the years since our split in 2004. 

Of course they would offer to help out with the dog.  They’re good and generous people, as well.

It’s taken almost 8 years for my ex to realize that Linda is someone who is not to be resented.  That she is someone who has a good and generous heart.

Just as my ex has had to accept the fact that Linda is the one that makes me happy and who cares deeply for our child and our child is crazy about her as well, Linda has had to have accepted the fact that my ex will always be a part of my family. 

I'm just grateful that all of these wonderful people are in my life and a part of my family.

 People.  Family.  It’s all encompassing, isn’t it?