A Dad giving birth

To be the first to do anything is pretty special.  To be the first to do something that is hard to imagine being even possible, is challenging and forces people to face their own prejudices.

Watching Oprah today (yay for DVR'ing!), and hearing Thomas Beatie's story on being the first man to become pregnant was truly inspiring.

I'd read the article and was moved by all that he and his wife have gone thru leading up to this miracle pregnancy.  But it was also hard to read about the many doctors that wouldn't treat him and how even within the GBLT community, people were having a hard time dealing with and understanding this.

What we, as gays and lesbians, expect from people who don't understand our relationships, we should in return, expect from ourselves when confronted with different types of relationships within our own community.  Compassion and the ability to acknowledge that as long as it doesn't affect anyone else, so be it.  Live and let live.

There are many questions about this situation and Oprah asked alot of them, including what types of surgery Thomas has had, what he has or doesn't have (he did have his breasts removed, but did not have reconstructive surgery in the genital area, and kept his female reproductive organs).  Both Thomas and Nancy were very open and honest in their responses, as well as very articulate.

It was interesting hearing from his wife Nancy's 2 grown daughters that they respect their Mom & Thomas and use them as role models in their own relationships.  One of them even said that they were a tad bit jealous as this expected baby girl is lucky to be brought up by such a great couple.

After reading about this couple, watching the show and hearing their story, and taking some time to think about it all, it struck me that this really was something that should be a non-issue.  Here are 2 people in a stable relationship (together for 10, married for 5), financially responsible, wanting to have a family.  Nancy couldn't have any more children, as she'd had to have a hysterectomy years ago.

As Thomas states: "Wanting to have a biological child is neither a male nor female desire, but a human desire."

I wish them the best and hope people give them the respect that they deserve.

Shabbat Shalom.

Comments

[Tina-cious.com]

Well said.

I'm curious though... what was your initial reaction that "thinking about it" changed?

[val]

Tina, thanks. Honestly, my first reaction was, how is this couple a part of the GBLT community and therefore a concern of mine, when they were pretty much a straight couple? And then I asked myself, isn't discrimination a problem for all, not just some? ... sometimes, even the most liberal of us, have to get over the first initial knee-jerk reactions.

[Jess]

I recorded the episode and can't wait to watch it.

For the record, Thomas isn't the first man to give birth. He's just the first to agree to go public.

There's an FTM in California who gave birth to his son years after he had transitioned to male. His story was highlighted in the documentary called "Transparent" :) I haven't seen it yet, but have read about it and plan to add it to my netflix.

[Jess]

OMG it let me post a comment. I haven't been able to comment on your blog in over a year!

Cool.. I guess I just liked this post that much that it let me :)

[SassyFemme]

I watched the couple on GMA and Oprah. As I said in email, while I feel bad for the prejudices the couple has experienced, and certainly believe in live and let live, I don't feel they are a part of my global LGBT community because they are living as a straight couple, with the rights and priviledges afforded to straight couples. Regardless though, I wish them a happy, healthy baby, and a happy family life. You're right that it should be a non-issue.

[Deborah]

Well put Val. At the very least, human to human respect.

[Maria]

I have a dear friend, who is has just transitioned from a female to a male. He is the dearest, most loving man I have ever met and yet when he tells me his stories of the horrors he has had to endure at the hands of MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS, it just breaks my heart. He has undergone so much, yet is so hopeful and wonderful. I read this article because he sent it to me awhile ago and I could only think that it is always the pioneers of any movement who have to endure so much and take all the risks.

I hope that people who read this article (and for the record, Bing had a hard time with it...she is very, "you stay in the body you were born with"..)find a way to let their hearts find tolerance and acceptance.

[KMae]

I have trannie friends. I have had many problems in life & feel grateful this wasn't one, I usually enjoyed being female.

However, I ain't jumping on this bandwagon so fast as he has female genitilia so big deal- he can have a baby. Okay, fine. I don't see what all the hype is about. It's an interesting story, but not so shocking. So what. I wish them the best, but show me a birth male that can get pregnant & THAT would be amazing.