Val-isms

Thankful 2009

It was just another day before Thanksgiving day.  I left work by 2:30 and headed over to pick up Sophie for some pie making.  We made a chocolate pecan pie and a chocolate cream pie.  We would  also be bringing a store made apple pie.

It was just another Thanksgiving day morning.  We slept in... got up about 8, lounged a bit and then made whipped sweet potatoes with marshmallows (keeping with my Mom’s tradition, but adding the twist of ‘whipping ‘ them, instead of just slicing them up) to bring for the Thanksgiving day meal.  (A little challenging, as I could not find our peeler, so it required peeling 16 sweet potatoes using a knife!)

We left our home in time to arrive at 1:30, the time that we’d been told.  But the hostess had called right as we were getting ready to head over to ask if we could stop on our way and pick up some ice, so were a few minutes late.

Some of the guests were already there when we arrived, but since they were practically like family, they were helping with the preparations and setting of the tables.

We brought in all our offerings of pies, wine and sweet potatoes and then hung out making small talk until the other guests arrived with their ‘pieces’ of the meal.  Wine was poured and we noshed on stuff and there was regular chit-chat.

After everyone else arrived, and we all had greeted each other as if it had just been yesterday that we’d seen each other, we all lined up to fill our plates with the food that was set out buffet style.  In addition to turkey, there was vegetarian lasagna (eggplant, zucchini & spinach), green beans, white mashed potatoes, whipped sweet potatoes with marshmallows, stuffing muffins, cranberry sauce, rolls & homemade lentil soup!  An amazing feast!

The group was large – 16, so some of us ate downstairs, while the majority ate upstairs.  It was all good, as Linda & I ate downstairs and got to chat with some people without the loudness of some of the other family members.

We came upstairs for dessert and coffee, as some of the kids (who really are no longer kids, as the youngest is now 18!) came downstairs to challenge Sophie to some Wii games!

It was just another family Thanksgiving gathering, with family members and friends of the family.

But it was also a turning point.

You see, my ex was the hostess at this particular Thanksgiving and this was the first time that she had opened up her home (that she & I once shared) to include Linda & me.  (We usually alternated who has Sophie on the holidays each year)

Was it strange?  Yeah, a little.  How could it not be? At one point I went out on the back deck to cool off from the warmth from the oven, crowds of people and those lovely hot flashes o' mine!) and looked around the yard and thought that it was almost Twilight Zone-ish being there.  Being a guest, but not really.

My ex's brother David and his family (including his daughter whom my ex & I had raised, who is now 21 and married, to yet another David, for almost a year!) were there, as well as other friends and their family.  I had not seen any of them since being with Linda, except for seeing the 21 year old a few times here and there.

The “kids” – Ashley (24), Kim (21) and Caitlyn (18) were SO happy to see me and so eager to meet Linda and they welcomed her into the family without any hesitation, as did their parents.  The other guests were equally gracious, friendly and warm.

What could have been awkward, wasn’t.  Linda felt completely comfortable. 

I didn’t know what the protocol is for these types of situations.  I didn’t want us to overstay our welcome, and yet I didn’t want to just eat and run.  So I asked my ex if she would like us to stay and help clean up and she said that would be nice, if we didn’t mind.  So we did.

When we finally were getting ready to leave and we were going around saying our goodbyes and hugging everyone who was left, I went over to my ex and thanked her for having us and wished her a Happy Thanksgiving as I gave her a hug.  (This was the first hug we’d shared since my leaving 5 years ago) 

I stepped back and Linda said to my ex, "Thanks so much for having us. Happy Thanksgiving." My ex wished her the same and then walked over to her and gave her a hug.  It was a moment.  But not an awkward one.  It couldn't have been done more naturally.

Since the date that we accepted my ex’s invitation 2 weeks ago, Sophie has mentioned quite frequently how great Thanksgiving was going to be this year with everyone all together.  It was really quite sweet how excited she was and I have to admit I was kind of excited about it, too.  Not just for Sophie's sake, but for the fact that despite our relationship not working out, I had always hoped that our friendship would be able to continue at some point.

Another thankful moment was on the day before Thanksgiving, when I wasn’t in the same room as them, Sophie told Linda that she “was glad that you are part of my family.”  It was a ‘ferklempt’ moment for Linda, for sure.

 

It was a special Thanksgiving and I hope that this is the just the start of shared holidays.  Who knows.  But for now, I’m still warm and fuzzy remembering the day and having the realization that perhaps family gatherings in the future will be all inclusive, as they should be.

Making a scene at the gas station

For those of you who are Fac*b**k friends, you're well aware that I am Linda's support crew, wind beneath her wings, water woman, snack wench - pick a term - person who drives ahead of her on her running route, stopping every mile and waiting for her so she can have water/gatorade/snacks on a regular basis (as if she's doing a marathon).

So on the weekend day that we don't have Sophie, we head out as early in the morning as we can manage to Westport to run along the water as much as we can.  We always stop at a specific gas station in Fairfield on the way there, as they have a pretty vast selection of snacks and drinks to choose from.  The run, depending on the mileage being done, can last from 2 - 3.5 hours or more. 

I bring along the weekend NY Times to read while waiting in the car.  Depending on how involved in the reading I am, I might actually get out of the car to meet Linda on the side of the road she is running so I don't get too stiff. 

(Last week, I didn't get out once in the entire 3 hours and when we got home, I almost rolled out of the car and I moaned and groaned all the way into the house, while Linda told me that I had a lot of nerve, as she had just run 15 miles!!!   I know, I'm a piece of work, aren't I?!!! 

But hey, it's tiring just sitting and waiting for someone to run to where you are.  Then you have to turn the car on and drive another mile... sigh.  Then get back into the article you were reading.... sigh.  It can be challenging, to be sure!  Oh and did I mention that we stop on the way to the gas station to get 2 large cups of coffee for me which I drink pretty quickly so that about half way thru the run, I'm squeezing my legs together and have to hold it til she's done???!!  yeah, it's tough to be me!)

But I'll admit that it's really tougher to be her!

Anyway, this past Sunday was the day for the training run. She had to run 16 miles.  We didn't quite manage to get up and out very early, but there we were at the gas station to get snacks about 9am.  An hour behind schedule, but whatever.  The day was free of any obligations except cleaning and really, who was in a rush to do THAT?!

I noticed that the gas gauge on the Subaru was on the low end, so I decided to get gas while I ran into the mini mart.  As I was entering the store, I ran into (literally) a Mom of one of Sophie's friends.  She was obviously mortified at being seen in what can only be described as "just woke up and, holy shit, I forgot to get milk yesterday, let me just run out and pray that I don't see anyone I know'!!!  Oh well, she tried.   But there I was!  I continued in and got the training supplies.

NOTE: part of my training run duties is to go into whatever store we stop at for supplies, as Linda doesn't want anyone seeing her in her running garb!  I think she looks cute as hell, but she disagrees.  So she stayed in the car and read the news on her phone.

I returned to the car and got in while handing her the bag with the drinks and the bag of gummy life savers that she craves while running.  I asked her if she'd seen the woman I was talking to as I entered the store and she had not.  I turned the car on and pulled away.

C R A S H! B A M!

I slam on the brakes and turn to Linda saying, "Shit.  I forgot to take the pump out of the car!"   (Dad, I can hear you laughing as you read this!  I'm sure that you coldn't BE any prouder of your accomplishments with my driver education!)

Linda's response?  "There had BETTER not be a scratch on this brand new car!"

I got out of the car as nonchalant as one can be in this type of situation.  My face had to have been the color of Santa's suit.  I was sweating and nauseous.  In my 35 years of driving, I had NEVER done THIS before!  I'm sure this would have to rate in the top 5 of my most embarrassing moments to date!

In my mind, I visualized the pump handle on the ground where it had landed after scraping the whole passenger side panel of the car on the way down as I pulled away.  I knew it wasn't going to be pretty.

When I came around the back of the car, I saw the hose split in 2.  The pump handle was still in the car with about 4 feet of hose hanging to the ground.  Then the other end of the hose was still attached to the machine, but hanging limply in front of it.

I went to look at the side of the car. Nothing.  Not a scratch.  ::: flood of relief ::::

Linda had rolled down her window. I said, "It's fine." as I removed the pump handle from the car and gently laid it next to the other half of the hose.  I asked Linda to move the car - since the car was sitting in the middle of the gas station at this point - and I headed into the mini mart to confess to being an idiot.

I entered and there were 2 women in line chatting.  As i got nearer, I heard one say to the other one, "Did you see that?  Someone tried to drive away with the pump handle still attached to their car?!!"  Both laughed and I continued to stay crimson.  I didn't confess to them!

The woman at the register looked at me like, "Didn't I just ring you up?  NOW what do you need?"  I said, "I just drove my car away with the pump attached."

She said, "Oh, you're pump 2?"

I nodded and said, "The car is fine, but the hose is in 2 pieces."

She said, "Was it pumping gas at the time?  I said, "No."

She said, "That's fine, just give me your phone # and driver's license in case they have any questions.  But the hoses just snap back together.  No big deal."

I walked out and got into the car as suavely as I could.  It crossed my mind to go over to the pump and get the receipt for the gas, but figured that leaving and checking my on-line bank account later would be the better choice!

When we got to Westport, I got out of the car just to double check to make sure that there were no damages... and lo and behold, I had not looked at the back bumper.  There was a nice big DING there.

So I called Subaru today and since we bought a maintenance package where they fix all dings for free, we have an appointment to bring the car in on Friday to have the the dings repaired.   In addition to the one that happend on Sunday, there are a few little dings on the hood from when some truck was ahead of Linda on the highway and  pebbles were falling off and bouncing off of the hood of our car. 

Maybe next week, we'll take my parent's car!!!  (just kidding Mom & Dad!)

[NOTE: The Thanksgiving Day post will be coming shortly... :) ]

Thanksgiving - the short version

As I'm too tired (and full) to provide more details, I just wanted to say that this Thanksgiving was awesome.  For so many reasons.

Pictures and more to come.

Shabbat sleepover and a captured sunrise

Sophie had a playdate after school on Friday at her friend Kayla's house.  When I picked her up in time to go to services, we asked Kayla if she wanted to come along (Kayla belongs to the local Conservative Temple in town), since Sophie's Jr Choir was singing at our Temple.

Of course, kids being kids, that wasn't good enough.  Sophie wanted Kayla to sleep over.

Now, the plan for Saturday morning was for Linda, Sophie & I to head to the beach EARLY Saturday morning to take some pictures of the sunrise.

Sophie is an early riser in the morning, so this was something that she was looking forward to. (No kidding, I have to insist when tucking her in every night, that she is NOT to get up before 6am!)  The girl needs VERY little sleep!

Anyway, Kayla insisted that she, too, wanted to see the sunrise, so the sleepover was on!

Kayla was just as restless during services as Sophie is when she's sitting between Linda & me - even with the great music being sung by the Jr Choir!

We told the girls that they'd be going to bed by 9:30 since we'd be getting up at 5.  So at 10pm, they were asleep.

Here they are, acting goofy before bed:

Sunrise was at 6:48am, but we wanted to be down at the beach (Jennings) by 6:15, so we could get all the 'preview lights' over the Long Island Sound.  The plan was to leave the house by 6, so we could stop at the local drive-thru coffee shop for coffee for us and hot chocolate for the girls, along with some bagels and donut holes for all.

The temp outside was about 40 degrees - which is pretty warm considering it's late November, but still pretty cold. 

When we arrived, we interrupted a couple's romantic sunrise.  We were very quiet, but our presence was not appreciated, so they moved elsewhere.

It was awesome out there.  The colors in the sky could not have been any more vibrant and the kids had a great time being models! 

The next few pictures were taken before the sun actually came up:

This was looking towards the lighthouse at Seaside Park in Bridgeport.

Who knew that the lifeguards were on duty this early and at this time of the year?!

Sophie is on the left & Kayla on the right!

Linda caught me climbing me up to talk to the 'lifeguards'!

Even the photographer gets into the fun, when she lets go of the camera for a minute!

Now for the sunrise:

And here I am bending down to give a kiss to my little girl:

Here are Sophie & Kayla playing bookends to the sun (Kayla - on the right - was wearing Linda's down parka which was slightly too big for her!)
 

It was a lot of fun and the girls wanted to hang out at the playground before we headed home:

 
 

We came home and the girls decided to tackle cleaning out Sophie's closet without being told.  They did an excellent job.  Then I asked if they wanted to help me clean out the garage, so we all went outside to enjoy the almost 60 degree weather.  They were quite the helpers.

At 2:00, we drove Kayla home, as she had a basketball game at 3 (we planned a pit-stop at Dairy Queen!), both kids fell asleep on the 6 mile drive!

Sophie & I ran some errands and then I dropped her off at my ex's.

Linda & I went to a fundraiser Saturday night that needs it's own blog entry to be described.  So that, kids will have to wait for another day.

Hope you enjoyed the pics and if you've never gotten up for a sunrise, I highly encourage you to do so.  It's one of those miracles that everyone should experience at least once (especially with someone you love) and I look forward to doing it more often.   Thanks, honey, for taking such great pictures.  You've really got a talent!
 
 
 
 
 

Summing up our lives lately.

We're tired.  And Tommy, apparently, is the MOST tired.

[kudos to Linda for the great shot with her new camera... thanks honey!  That's your boy!]
 

Meet Pumpkin

Sophie has wanted a dog for the longest time and the answer to that request has consistently been "NO".  I know.  She is truly deprived.  She has nothing.  Just 4 cats.  A loving family and plenty of wonderful opportunities to explore any interest she has.  It's sinful.  Someone should be notified!

Anyway, in lieu of a dog, there is a new member of "Sophie's world".  He's a guinea pig - named Pumpkin (Sophie's name for him!). He's 2 years old.

My experience with guinea pigs (as we had 2 when I was about Sophie's age, which were kept in a crate in the small upstairs bathroom that my brother David & I shared), was that they were messy and noisy.  The second the refrigerator door opened downstairs in the kitchen, no matter how quietly it was opened, there was a chorus of high pitched "wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, etc..." coming from above.  Kind of like an angelic choir, but not.  More like nails on a chalkboard.

Annoying? Oh, hell, yeah.

During the summer, we had an outside cage (since we couldn't keep them outside year round, as we did live in Upstate NY), so it was just a matter of feeding them.  There really was no holding of them, if I remember correctly.  And even outside, they knew when that refrigerator door opened!

So I did not have very fond memories of the specie.

Well, Pumpkin was rescued a few weeks ago by my ex and Sophie at the Westport Humane Society, where he'd been residing in solitude for a month.  The lone guinea pig orphan.  Poor thing.

He is the most grateful, affectionate and personable guinea pig I've ever seen.  He responds to his name.  He looks inquisitive.  He loves being held and will sit in Sophie's lap for hours.  He really loves to be bathed and requires and SO appreciates a little blow dry of his fur, so he doesn't catch a cold, if you please!!  In other words, he's a gem of a pet.

Well.. almost.  If you don't take into consideration the amount of poop he creates.  Thankfully, it's poop pellets, but still, it's an impressive amount.  

But he sure is cute.  Sophie adores him.  And the dog request has been eliminated from Sophie's vocabulary.  It's just enough responsibility for a 9 year old. 

Pumpkin is a dog -  just a small one.  He doesn't require walks and is happy to play in an a 3-4 foot area and loves to eat straw, carrots and lettuce.

The new best friends:

And thankfully, he lives at my ex's house, as Tommy & Petey would only see him as a game and unfortunately, they'd most likely win! 
 
 

A little of this and that

First off, I absolutely coming up with titles for my posts.  Seriously.   Perhaps that's why I haven't blogged since the 1st of this month?  Hmmm.  no.  Nice try.

So,to cheat, I'll not be writing too much, but rather letting pictures speak.

First off - our new-ish cat member - though by new, she became a part of our family at the end of August.  She was Linda's cat a long time ago and now is back.  Meet Brandy.  She is about 10 years old and though it's hard to tell, she is a calico:

We took Thursday November 12th off to go up to Hartford, CT to celebrate the 1st anniversary of Marriage Equality in CT, but since we didn't have to be there til 3:30, we were able to watch Sophie and her classmates (actually the entire elementary school) ran their annual Turkey trot!  (4th & 5th graders had to run a mile - 3 laps around the school)  (Sophie is the one in the bright pink jacket!):

Sophie & her friend Tori:

Sophie and her friend Kayla:

And here's Tommy: (sleeping with his stuffed turtle!)

 
 
 
 
 

Car adventure #3 and an anniversary

So...last we left our dismal piece-of-shit-cute-Mini, it was towed to our local mechanic for a look see as to why the shifter was again flopping in the wind!  (Just a slightly annoying thing to deal with when driving a stick-shift car!, but only if you are not just driving down hill!)

Anyway, at least the towing was free thanks to that company with all the A's!

As for the diagnosis, not so lucky in the financial department.  Seems that the shifter cables (not the technical terms, but what I'm calling them!) had snapped from wear. (which we had been warned could happen when the repair in June had been done).

$680.00.

Thankfully, we are lucky enough that my parents had left us the use of their car while they winter in Israel, so that as long as it's only one car in the shop at a time, we each still have a car to drive!

So with the game of musical cars in full force, when I picked up the Mini last Saturday, I left my parents' 2001 BMW there for an oil change and fluids check so that it's all set for the upcoming winter.  As I was paying the bill for the Mini, I asked my mechanic what he thought about the Mini and whether I should keep it or not.  He said, "Get rid of it."  He said that with the mileage at 60K now, he'd be surprised if the transmission would last past 75K.  So I left there trying to figure out our vehicle options.

Linda was driving the CR-V and I was driving the Mini all week.  And quite frankly, each time I got into it, the only thing I thought of was "I wonder what is going to go next on this car and when."  This is not what you should be thinking when you're driving around in a cute little Mini.

This past summer, Linda &I had been trying to decide on what car to get when the lease on the CR-V was up at the end of January.  We wanted something sporty, a hatchback, 4 door, not too big, but big enough.  We also didn't want it to be too expensive.

We headed to the Subaru dealer and fell in love withe the Subaru Impreza Outback Sport.  At the time that we went there in July, they didn't have the sport one and they didn't have any 5-speeds on the lot.  So we drove the automatic and fell in love.

Thursday, I went on-line to see what their Inventory was and lo and behold, they had only 1 on the lot and it was the 2-toned silver one.  JUST the color we had wanted.

So I told Linda about it and said we should go and check it out over the weekend.

Arriving at the dealer about 11:30 Saturday morning, we saw the car immediately.  Looking better than any picture could do it justice.  The only thing was that I didn't see the roof rack that I knew was part of the sport package.

Linda fell in love instantly, as did I.

What Linda didn't' know was that I was a woman with a mission.  A woman who had already looked up the trade-in value of the Mini and had the title to the Mini in my back pocket!  I had a plan.  I wanted to make a deal.

And so we did.  By 1, we had test driven the car (alone without the salesman!!), had the Mini appraised for trade-in  and already had the monthly payment agreed upon.  We were told to go out to lunch or something and that we could come back at 4 to pick it up!  They would put the roof rack on (it was in a box inside the car), wash & wax and prep it for pick up while we were gone!

And so it is that we are now the proud parents of this:

It drives like a dream.  My only complaint is that they don't make them with a sunroof.  But I'll get over it.

These pictures were taken today as I was Linda's helper on her 13 mile run that is part of her marathon training.  I stopped every mile and read the paper, talked to my parents and then started taking pictures of the car! 

Linda did the 13 miles in 2 hours 30 minutes and she looked strong all the way thru!  Way to go, babe.

Oh and yes, Linda will be the primary driver of the Silver Bullet.  So she's a very happy gal. 

And I'm a happy gal cuz 3 years ago today, Linda said "yes" when I asked her to marry me.  2010, baby!