Val-isms

The big piercing event postponed

Unfortunately, we found out Friday night that there had been an 'incident' that had happened during a play date the prior Sunday with one of Sophie's friends that Sophie neglected to 'share' with us.  So after a little pow-wow between my ex and myself, we decided that a chat with the 'accused' would happen on Sunday morning and that the ear piercing would have to be earned.

I hate when this happens.

I was pretty excited at the prospect of surprising Sophie on Saturday morning when she would think that they were just stopping at the mall to pick up something.  But we'll be able to surprise her another time, I'm sure.

The 'incident' wasn't all that earth shattering.  But the fact that Sophie didn't mention it to us and it's a behavior that involves hitting/physicalness and then showing no sign of remorse or apologizing to a very good friend, it was deemed important in the realm of nipping bad behavior early so that it doesn't become a continuing behavior.

As you can imagine, Sophie was not happy.  It's rare that my ex & I have had to do the sit down thing with her, so when I showed up over there this morning, her first response was, "Am I going to get my ears pierced today???!!"  (My heart sunk) And then when we did share what our topic of discussion was, the tears and excuses and alibi's just started spewing from her mouth!  Incredible how it was all just an 'accident'.  sigh.

She did call her friend soon after our chat and apologized.  They will hopefully see each other at Sophie's birthday party, if not before then.

Sometimes it just sucks being the parent.

All of our other weekend plans went well.  The sorority sisters reunion was a lot of fun - great group of women!  (and the poor husband of the host person was probably wishing that the reunion had been held at someone else's house!).  It'd been 17 years since Linda had seen any of them, and she looked QUITE different back then.  Anyway, it was a great time.

And this afternoon, we went to the GLBT wedding expo and it was a hoot!  Got LOTS of 'pitches' from businesses who are there to make "your wedding day the most special and spectacular day... blah blah blah!"  I have to admit, I loved them all fawning all over us trying to impress us with their various talents!  We'll see about who we call once we figure out the details and costs, etc...

How she makes me smile

One of the ways my current relationship differs from my last relationship is that Linda treats me like an adult; a person who can take care of herself.  Don't get me wrong.  She does like to pamper me and does thoughtful things for me all the time, but it's not about the basics.  She figures that my controlling nature has everything under control.

I'm talking about packing for a trip.  In my last relationship, I'd take out the clothes I wanted to pack, put them out on the bed and magically, they'd be put in a suitcase/overnight bag (also determined by someone else).  I would not have to worry about toiletries.  That would also magically be packed.

I was in charge of packing the car.  I proudly inherited the PACKINGOFTHECAR gene from my Dad.  He will always be the GrandMasterCarPacker, but I strive to be like him everytime I pack the car to this day.

Now, back to my current relationship.  I realized early on that this relationship was so much different (aka better) in so many ways, but surprisingly I was a bit stunned on our first trip together when not only did I have to pack my own bag (all mine) and my own toiletries, it didn't even occur to Linda to do things any other way.  No big deal, right.  I AM a big girl, quite capable of packing my own bag, right?  Right.

So now, a few years into the relationship, I know how things work.  We each pack our own stuff, but now we tend to share a bag, especially for short trips.  When we stay in a hotel, the only thing we bring are toothbrushes/toothpaste, q-tips and hair products (i.e. gels, mousse, spray).  (I know you all are cracking up that the small amount of hair that we each have could require that much maintenance, but trust me when I say, YOU have no idea.  That's for another post)

Anyway, Linda tends to get the bathroom stuff together now for our trips. 

Sidenote: when we went away for her 130 bike ride a few months ago, she forgot my brush (yes, I use one - but she does not, hence why she forgot it!).  I lived thru having to dry my hair by just running my fingers thru it, but it was tough!

We figure that there will lotion and shampoo and blow dryers in the hotel room bathroom, so there is no need to bring any of that stuff.

So within moments of checking into the hotel Saturday night, the bathroom counter is chock full of assorted hair products, toothbrushes, and other stuff (proving how much we need and love our double sink and huge counter space in our Master bathroom at home!).

After taking our first shower, (after spending the day in the car or on the beach or in the ocean, we needed one BADLY) we realize that the hotel provided teeny-weeny shampoo bottle is not going to be enough for the 3 of us.  So in our way to dinner that night, we stopped at a CVS to pick up a few things.  Sophie needed some coloring & puzzle books to entertain her at dinner and we needed to get shampoo. 

Now let me remind all of you how much Linda doesn't have preferences about things like shampoo or toothpaste. to name just a few items.  These are incidentals that are not worthy of her concern.  As long as she has something to wash her hair with (and smells good) and something to brush her teeth with, she's happy.

So how surprised was I when she announced that she wanted to pick out the shampoo?  I gulped.  Looked at her like someone looks when trying to figure out if they know the person who is talking to them.  Shrugged and said, "Sure.".

We met in the middle of the store and I noted the VAT of shampoo that was in her hand.  I mean, it was a 16oz bottle!  (How much shampoo did we need????!!!!)  She said," I really like this kind" and so I look at the label and the only word that registers is "Volumizing" and I started cracking up!  I looked at her and said, "With the 10 hairs we each have on our head, we need to VOLUMIZE????!!!  I was practically crying, I was laughing so hard.

She stood her ground and so we brought all the stuff (including that VOLUMIZING shampoo!) to the counter and it all went into a bag.  Then off we all went to a wonderful (yet late) dinner at a brick oven pizza place on the water in downtown Portland.

Sunday morning, we had to be up bright and early to get to Maisie's camp (an hour away) by 9:30am and have time to pick up coffee/b'fast for the ride.

As usually happens, Linda took her shower first.  (Though I totally disagree, she thinks she has to put makeup and hair products on before she can face the world)  So bottom line, she needs more time to get ready.  This means that I get a few minutes of extra sleep.  Sophie was happily lounging with me in bed while watching TV.

When I finally mozy into the bathroom, Linda says to me, "Promise you won't be mad at me."

Now this usually means one thing to me.  She has forgotten something that is very important to me.  But it's early and therefore I can't think.  I try and think of something I would need, that I had not already needed.  I ran a checklist (pretty short, as my mind could barely register that we were in Maine!) of things that I'd already done and hadn't missed and couldn't think of anything.  So what could it be?!!!

I looked blankly at her.

She repeated, "Say you promise that you won't be mad at me."  She looked truly worried.  (You would think that I had chased her around the room one night yelling "NO MORE WIRE HANGERS!!!" or something!  I swear I have never.) 

I said, "Honey, whatever... just tell me what's going on."

"Remember the shampoo I picked out last night?"

"Yes." (now I'm truly confused)

"Well, it wasn't exactly shampoo.... it's conditioner.... but I only used a little dab of shampoo from the teeny-weeny bottle that hotel provided, and there's still some left for you."

30 seconds of silence amd tjem I'm so relieved that it's nothing more than THAT, and I can't believe how really worried she is, I just started laughing. 

Yep, she's all mine, folks.  Nope, I wouldn't give her up.  She's a keeper!

What a weekend!

All I have to say is to re-iterate my favorite saying.... "things happen for a reason".

Our reason for visiting Maine was to visit our niece Maisie.  The reason that we stopped at Ogunquit, ME on the way, was due to Linda going there a few weeks ago with a friend.

Whatever the reason, we were meant to visit the beach at Ogunquit.   Magnificent is an understatement.  It was as if we were on a tropical island without the palm trees.  Waves to ride and sand that was velvety soft.  A quaint town with cute shops and great restaurants....

As soon as I get the software reloaded, so I can upload some pics, I will post them. 

We had a blast and can't wait to go back again, and again and again.  We just may never go to P-Town again.  (Oh did I mention how many rainbow flags we saw hanging on the vaious inns and other places to stay?)

And another plus to this great place is that it's only 3.5 hours away and you never have to be in I-95!

P.S.  The camp where Maisie is spending her summer is great and we had a great day with her on Sunday.  It was hard saying goodbye.

Going 'Maine'-stream

Well, sort of.

We're making a long weekend this weekend.  We're taking Monday off.  How decadent, I know!

It seems that my niece Maisie, who's been away since the end of June, at a camp up in Maine, has extended us an invitation to come for 'family' weekend.

We can't go to the camp until Sunday, so Sophie, Linda & I are heading up early Saturday morning and stopping at Ogunquit, ME to hit the beaches and shops.  Linda was just there a couple of weeks ago and can't wait to show us around!

We'll head up to Portland, where we have a hotel room later on Saturday and meet up with my sister and my other niece Noa for dinner.

On Sunday we'll see Maisie.  Not sure at this point for how long and when.

We'll fit in more beach time and maybe even check out some other sights in Maine before heading back on Monday afternoon.

Tonight, we're picking up our rental car and then after Services, we'll pack and get a good night's sleep...

We're picking up Sophie at 6am, so we can get up there with plenty of time to hang on the beach...  I'll post pics over the weekend!

Shabbat Shalom.

3

It's the 3rd Anniversary of our commitment today.  (You know, of course, lesbians have at least 2 or 3 'special' days to remember??)  Well this date is what we consider THE anniversary date and perhaps will one day will be our wedding anniversary.

We have something pretty amazing and I'm grateful for every day.  How she puts up with me, I'll never know, but am thankful that I'm doing something right that makes her stay around!

Here's to us!

Ain't love grand?!!!

Into the woods...

I come from a famiily who camps.  I didn't sleep in a hotel until I was 19 years old. 

Our family vacations when I was under the age of 10 involved visiting relatives in the Big Apple or up in upstate New York.  There were many day trips to the various sites in the New York area - Catskill Game Farm, Storytown, Frontier Land, Bronx Zoo, etc...  But we were not world travelers by any stretch of the imagination.  This is not a complaint.  I loved the day trips and seeing my grandparents.  I didn't see it as missing anything at all. It was my reality. 

Then my Dad got a teaching position at San Diego State, so (hum the Beverly Hillbilly's theme song as you read along!) we packed up the 4 kids (ages 12, 9, 3, 1) and a cat, hitched the pop-up trailer behind the family station wagon (light blue Pontiac something!) and off we drove across this great U.S. of A! 

We took the northern route going west.  Simply beautiful. Highlights that I remember were The Badlands, Glacier National Park and the sights of the ocean as we drove down the coast of California. 

What I try and block were the memories of the process of setting up and taking down of the 'camp site'. 

My Dad really should have been a career Army boot camp instructor, except that he's not loud enough or tough enough looking.  But as far as being organized and instructing people on how things WILL be done and when, he's a master.  Unfortunately, his 'squad' was not quite the perfect group to execute his well planned intentions! (TOTAL UNDERSTATEMENT!)

I just know that the 10 minutes prior to us 'landing' at the campground for the evening, started the excitement for the kids and tension between my parents.  Like clockwork, my brother & I would try and envision the pool and if there'd be kids to hang out with.  The rude realization that the 2 choices we had (if you want to call them choices at all!) were either to watch the 'little kids" while my parents got the pop-up "popped" and unpacked and set up the cooking/food area.  Or my Mom was watching them and we were assigned 'helper' jobs assisting my Dad.  Neither option was fun, but we soon realized that the faster that camp was set up, the sooner we would be free to go and 'play'.

3 years later when we headed East for another teaching job in CT, we took the Southern route.  This time, we pulled nothing, but drove a Step-Van (Picture either UPS truck or Bread truck - 10 ft behind the driver) that my Dad converted into a 'camper'.  It had a fold down table with benches on either side, that folded down into a double bed.  Above it was a double bed bunk that when we were driving, was held up against the cieling.  Above the driver's seat was another bunk folded up and hooked up to the ceiling.  There was a storage area in the way back where the cat cage was and oh yeah, we had a litter of puppies with us! 

At night, the bunks were all lowered, folded and set up and once you were in bed, that was it.  There really was only about a foot wide 'alley' to walk along side of the bunks.  My parents slept on the folded down table.  My sister & I slept above them and the boys slept on the front bunk.  If there was any tickling or nudging going on between any of the upper bunk-mates, it caused the bunks to swing precariously and was always good for making Mom have to shout for us to stop!  Ah... the fun of it!

Oh and the best part was that the "Camper" had no air conditioning!  Yep... we drove through Bakersfield, CA, Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Oklahoma, etc... all without A/C!  We had the sliding doors open in the front and there were 2 side windows to enable all the hot air to come in and blow around!  Oh, and no radio, dvd player, or cd player.  Hell, not even an 8-track player!

My Mom refused to drive the 'monster' blue van.  I was 15 1/2 and had a driver's learner's permit at the time, so I became the 2nd driver.  I loved driving that thing!  When I was driving, I had the best view and didn't have to be annoyed by my siblings!  When on the highway, the wind noise from the doors being open, allowed me to sing fairly loudly to myself and no one else could hear!  (I also couldn't hear anything behind me which was both good and bad!  Good that I couldn't hear kids whining, but bad, as sometimes I didn't always hear directions!) 

Our trip west was leisurely paced and took us about 3 weeks as we stopped to see various sites along the way.  Our trip east was manic.  We were on a mission to get to our destination yesterday!  We made it there in 10 days!

As for entertainment for the travelers on both of these trips, you ask?  Just the normal family interactions.  Lots of games of looking for out of state licence plates and enjoying the scenery of our great country.

These days, even for an hour ride somewhere, my daughter requests to have a movie to watch or has a book to read as the sights pass by just outside her window.  Different times.  Self created, I fear.  I try to engage her in the 'old-fashioned'  road games of my past, but they just don't seem to be able to compete with Spong Bob in her lap!

The bonus my daughter and her cousins have is that with all of their Aunts and Uncles so spread out around the U.S. (Manhattan, NY & Walnut Creek, CA) and in Israel, they've been afforded great opportunities to travel in their short young lives.  Sophie at the tender age of 7 has flown to California twice, Israel once and been to Florida many times by car.  She has been to the Big Apple many times, as well. 

As Linda & I love to travel, I'm sure that there will be more opportunity to expose Sophie to other great places, including returning to her home land of Cambodia and to Linda's homeland of Vietnam.

Today after work, with tents, sleeping bags, insect repellant, flashlights and coolers, Linda & I  will head into the wilds of a State Park roughly 45 minutes away from where we live.  I know... scary, huh?!!!  I hope it's not too isolated or... dark!

Our Kulanu group from Temple is having a "Shabbat under the Stars" camping trip this weekend.  15 of us will gather for a pot luck dinner and 'service' tonight around a nice campfire and 9 of us brave souls will actually spend the night in our tents.  Our Assistant Rabbi & her partner will offer some musical and spiritual guidance, but the services will be led by a group member.  In the morning, breakfast and a short service under the trees will happen, followed by a nice hike around the park.  It should be a lot of fun.

Sophie is away with her other Mom this weekend visiting some friends and going to an amusement park in CT.

My Israeli niece & nephew are arriving on Sunday for a few weeks.  We're looking forward to seeing and spending time with them both.

Shabbat shalom.

Just the usual and unusual stuff...

The weekend was fine.  Lots of R&R for me.  Lounging by the pool became the big focus.  Love it.

In keeping with exposing Sophie to the 'classics', we watched "The Music Man" and loved it!  So many songs I was familiar with and who knew that Shirley Jones was famous before being the Mom on "The Partridge Family"?!!!  (kidding!)

Sophie loved all the beautiful dresses "Marion" wore and we both enjoyed the cute and very young Ronny Howard doing his rendition of the "Wells Fargo Wagon" song!  Very entertaining.

Linda had a nice weekend up in Maine with her friend, but wished I had been there, too.  We hope to get up there together some day soon.

Last night, after Sophie's piano lesson, Linda & I did a major cleaning of our place.  Then went out for a 4.5 mile walk around our neighborhood.  It was so nice out and I hadn't really done anything but swim over the past few weeks.  When we got home, we decided to do about 30+ push ups... oh yeah, THERE were some muscles that haven't been used in a bit!  Washing and thencombing my hair this morning was painful!

I will try and take some pictures of our place over the next few days... and hopefully post some so you can see how it's coming along.  The new table and buffet piece were the perfect fit to the place.  Now light fixtures are the next things to be looking for.  Oh, and an area rug for under the table, and..... I'm convinced there will always be something else to buy!

Oh, and this morning started at 5:20am with our doorbell ringing.  Who was it, you ask?  No one.  It seems to have issues.  And continued to ring intermittently every 5-6 minutes for the rest of the time we were trying to grab some more sleep and get ready for work.  Annoying?   oh yeah.  It's not just a regular doorbell, as it's connected to an intercom system, too.  (Weese... is this an area of expertise that you are familiar with... if we bribe you with dinner and cocktails?!  Let us know what you're doing this Sat or Sun afternoon!)

On my own...

This week has FLOWN by.  Even more than usual.  Not exacly sure why.

Linda is leaving today for the weekend.  She is going to 'nurse' a friend who is having issues in her dating life.  This friend lives up near Boston, but they are heading to Maine to a women's event that this friend doesn't want to go to alone.  Linda will drive to the friends' home and then they will take the friends' car to Maine.  They haven't spent time together in awhile, so I'm sure they'll have fun.  Linda is a good listener.  The friend will be in good hands.  

Me?  I'll be home.  With some time alone, with Sophie, with a friend.

Tonight after services, a friend is coming over to hang out and have drinks.  I'm looking forward to it.

Saturday, our new dining room table/chairs and hutch are being delivered.  I CAN'T WAIT!  I wish we had found a rug for underneath this table, but I'm sure we'll find one soon.  In the meantime, having the table will be such an improvement, perhaps the lack of rug will be of minimal impact.

Whenever the table is NOT being delivered, I hope to see my Mom for her birthday.

Sophie is coming over Saturday night.  We'll be having movie night - watching "The Music Man", which I've only seen bits and pieces of over the years.  I'm sure it'll be good.

Sunday, Sophie has a playdate with a friend.  They're picking her up to take her to a puppet show and then they'll come back to swim. 

I hope to do some lounging by the pool, as well as get some laps in.

And, of course, I'll be missing Linda.  But we'll have Sunday night together.

Shabbat shalom.

A beautiful day for a beautiful woman

It's my Mom's birthday today.

It's hot, but not humid outside and lots of sunshine.

My Mom & Dad are heading down to NYC to have lunch with my sister to celebrate. 

I'll get together with her at some point this weekend....

Happy Birthday, Mom.  You deserve many more sunny days in your future and I look forward to spending many more of them with you.

A long weekend filled

Here's how it panned out:

• Pedicures for both Linda & Val Friday morning
• Swimming/lounging by the pool Friday afternoon
• Lots of crab legs for dinner Friday night after a spectacular 4th of July Friday night services.
• Checked out a local horse farm Sat morning - birthday party in August for Sophie! VERY nice.
• Rug shopping for our dining room.
• Picked up some hanging plants and hooks to beautify our deck.
• Whacked 2 big buckets of balls at the local golf driving range! Sophie was pretty good! Linda & I had fun, too!
• Cooled off from the humidity in the pool.
• Dinner with Yak & Alcye Saturday night... great Japanese food.
• Sunday... I made Challah french toast for breakfast. Read the NY Times.
• Went for a 12 mile bike ride around the Fairfield beaches in the afternoon. Stopped for DQ towards the end of it, to re-energize!
• Cooked fish and veggies on the grill.
• Watched the movie "27 Dresses" - cute romantic comedy.