Val-isms

Summing up our lives lately.

We're tired.  And Tommy, apparently, is the MOST tired.

[kudos to Linda for the great shot with her new camera... thanks honey!  That's your boy!]
 

Fasting challenges, crushes and trying to go back to the basics

Yom Kippur passed with a few bumps:

• Sophie fasted (despite my pleading for to eat at lunchtime), and felt ill during the 1:30 children's service where she was singing in the Jr Choir. Poor thing. We ended up heading home for a quick pit-stop to split a bagel about 3pm to help with our heads & stomachs. Then we stayed home to prepare for the few people coming over for break-fast.
• Linda made it the whole day. She's a trooper.

Having Monday off,always makes the week so much nicer.

Sophie has her first major crush on a boy.  Heaven help me.  She's only 9!  He, of course, likes someone else.  sigh.

Last night, thanks to my parents heading back to Israel earlier than expected, we were able to use their tickets to the Westport Country Playhouse and saw a play called "The Breath of Life", starring Stockard Channing & Jane Alexander.  The play was ok (kind of depressing) but being about 10 rows from the front and starint at Stockard was a lovely way to spend a few hours! :)  Thanks, Mom & Dad!

Tonight, we will celebrate Sukkot with a nice service and dinner afterwards at the Temple. And then, Linda, Sophie &I will try doing a semi traditional Shabbat.  No TV & electronics (including pc's).  Phones are ok.  Driving is ok.  Should be interesting.  We hope to do some apple picking Saturday afternoon if it's not raining.

Saturday night, we're going to a friends home for dinner.  We may end up at the local gay bar at the end of the evening if we have any energy!

Sunday morning starts off the Rabbi's Judaism classes at Temple, which we'll attend.  Then a little qickball.

Linda has a 9 mile run on Sunday afternoon, so I'll be driving ahead of her providing water/snacks.  It's tough to be the wind beneath her wings, right?!!!

Shabbat Shalom.

Birthday update and then some unexpected excitement

Such a buildup to kids birthday parties.  Lots of planning.  Lots of anticipation.  Lots of praying for good weather.

Then the day arrives and it's P E R F E C T!

Beautiful.   Ah, but the craziness ensues, but kids are loving the excitement of all being together.  All 7 of ‘em!

Here are the highlights:

Ah, but the craziness ensues, but kids are loving the excitement of all being together. 

• Images of Sophie and her friends dancing the Makerena dance before sitting down for pizza dinner Friday night
• Blowing out the candles on her homemade “Sleepover cake”
• Leaving my ex’s home about 8pm with the kids getting ready to settle in for watching 2 movies (“Mall Cop” & “Legally Blondes”)
• Arriving at 9:30am on Saturday to see that all kids look well rested (they slept from about 11:30pm – 7am!  Not bad!) and happy from having pancakes, fruit & bacon for b’fast
• Doing the caravan from my ex’s to my house to cart the 7 kids across town
• Heading to the pool at 10:30.
• “Pushing toy boats with your nose” swimming races – very funny to watch!
• Regular swimming races
• Creative ‘noodle’ floatations
• Leftover pizza and b’day cake for lunch
• Then back out to the pool for the afternoon.
• Spectacular weather all day – sunny, low 80’s, nice breeze and no humidity!

 

(Sorry that I have no pictures to post  - my camera disappeared, so I'm waiting for my ex to send them to me.)

 

Sophie got a bunch of cool stuff from her friends, but the highlight gifts were from her parents:  Kids Singer sewing machine from my ex and an iPod Nano with a cool docking station/alarm clock radio from Linda & me.  She was a VERY happy girl!

 

The best gift my ex gave to Sophie, though, was that she stayed and hung out for most of the pool party’s events even though she’s never really interacted with Linda that much before. (kind of avoided the situations in the past).  She hung by the pool with all of us and then actually came into our place and had lunch and even assisted in serving and cleanup.  Very cool.  Hope this sort of thing continues to happen for all of our sakes.  Very civilized and whether she likes it or not, we’re all family now, because Sophie is all of ours.

 

My Mom was continuing to improve from her hand surgery and was starting to actually wiggle her fingers as she’s been instructed to do, to increase their mobility.  She’s had relatively little pain which is pretty incredible.

We went out Sunday night for dinner and then to see “Julie & Julia” – highly recommend the movie.  It was very funny and interesting.  Just make sure you’ve eaten first or you’ll walk out of there extremely hungry!

 

Some unexpected excitement came about on Monday when my Mom started having extreme nausea and really started feeling badly in general.  By the afternoon, she was running a 102 fever and had contacted her doctor.  After taking some Tylenol, her fever went down, but she was still feeling wretched.

 

Tuesday morning after I’d just gotten into the office, my Dad called and said that I needed to come and take them to the hospital.  It seems she has a severe urinary tract infection, possible slight pneumonia and they’re not sure what else, so they admitted her later in the afternoon.

Today, after another chest x-ray, and lots of IV antibiotics and fluids, she was still not feeling well.   Late in the afternoon, the urine cultures showed another type of bacteria which could be the culprit, but she’s still not able to eat or drink anything.  The doctors continue to be baffled.

I can’t express how touched I’ve been by all the F*ceb**k good wishes from my blog readers and personal friends over the past couple of days.  Thank you.  It meant a lot.

 

We’re all thinking positively and just taking each day at a time. 

A special day for a special woman

Someone celebrates a birthday every day.  In fact, I dare say that MANY people celebrate their birthdays every day.

Today, the only person who's birthday is important to me, is Linda's.

Though on her birthday, I am forced to confront our age difference (thought until my birthday 8 months from now, we are only 12 years apart!), I am also reminded that this person who I plan to spend the rest of my life with, was born very far away from where I was and it's truly amazing that we found our way to each other.

I love hearing how couples meet.  The various journeys they take in their brief beginnings that bring them to their respective life partners is nothing short of miraculous sometimes.  And then there are people like a friend of mine who I happen to also work with.  Shemet her now husband of 23 years when they were in the 5th grade at their Elementary school (which is where my daughter now goes!).  My co-worker swears that the minute she met this boy, she knew and felt that she was going to marry him someday. Wow, huh?  And I've gotten to know him over the past 5 years and they are both very lucky to have found each other and have adopted 2 beautiful children together in the last 7 years.

However, Linda wasn't just born on the other side of the state or even on the other side of the U.S.  She was born in what is now known as Saigon, Vietnam.  Her Dad was an American G.I. and her Mom was a local young woman and they fell in love in the late 1960's when he was over there involved in the Vietnam war.  Their story became a happy version of Miss Saigon. 

Linda's Dad married his love in her country and brought her and his 6 month old baby girl home to live in his home state of Connecticut.  The year was 1970.  America wasn't a very welcoming place for Vietnam veterans and I'm sure that it was doubly unwelcome to a couple that involved a Vietnam native.

Linda's Mom knew that her daughter would be better off here in the States than in Vietnam.  And she was right.  When Linda returned to Vietnam in 1999 with her parents for the first time since leaving as an infant, she was shocked and saddened to see the poverty up close. 

I am amazed at all that she has had to endure for being a 'mix' and have so much respect for all that she has accomplished in her life so far.  She's an excellent student, a hard worker and a driven spirit who genuinely looks for new opportunities that are outside her comfort zone.  She has taught me much in the past 5 years that I have known her.

She has been such a positive step-parent influence on Sophie that has taken a special friendship role and blends it with a pseudo-parenting role which provides Sophie with a special confidante that as she gets older, she will surely appreciate and be grateful for.  She has pointed out to me different and often more efficient and productive ways to guide Sophie that also tend to be less stressful for all parties involved!  The fact that she is an Asian-American has also provided Sophie with a live-in cultural role model.   

And despite our age difference, her favorite music is from the 60's!  She's a real Motown fan. She also loves the 70's & 80's, of course, too.  Somehow we seem to be from the same musical background. 

Though I wish we had met so much earlier in our lives, I know that things happen for a reason.  We both had to take our own journeys and in our own time.  The important thing is that our paths crossed and then merged.  A nice Jewish gal from Brooklyn, NY falls in love with a nice Amerasian woman from way across the ocean.  Who coulda known?!!!

I am enjoying the journey that we're on together today and the next day and the next.

Happy birthday, my love. 

And though it should be a day where we go out and celebrate together tonight, she has given me a gift.  Tonight, I'll be going to "Family Math Night" with Sophie and my ex at Sophie's school.  Thanks for being so understanding.

Great weekend away in Florida

We had a really nice time away.  We really travel well together.  Trip down was uneventful, except that annoyingly neither of us could get on-line in LaGuardia. sigh. 
I didn't realize how tired I'd be when we got to Orlando, so we end up sleeping for a half hour on our way to Ocala, where her parents live. (on the side of the road!)  We arrived close to 1AM!

We had beautiful weather the entire weekend.  Mid 80's and sunny!  Perfect.  Her parents have a great front porch that is shaded and has a nice breeze.  When we were home, we were sitting out there chatting or reading.

The pool was a golf ride away - Olympic size.  Did some sun-bathing and reading for a few hours a day.

Sat night, we took her parents out to dinner for her Mom's 68th b'day.  A nice time and good food.  We also bought a cheap bike for Linda to keep down there, so we could do some bike riding (I had use of her Dad's bike)  It's the perfect area for bike riding - pretty much flat.

Sunday we went to the Gulf coast to look around in a place called Crystal River.  Pretty area.  Found a beach to walk along and snap some pics:

Then we found a place on the water to have a snack and a drink (calamari with lots to dip into!):

We left Monday morning for the airport.  We successfully were able to gain Internet access, which made it possible to go thru work e-mails which made my re-entry into the office this morning a MUCH better experience!

We got back to our place by 10PM last night and the 'boys' were very happy to see us!  And we were very happy to see them!

Glad it's warm again today, but saw that it's only supposed to be in the high 50's tomorrow.. brrrr!

I got contacted by a few local reporters for comments from a local gay couple on the passing of the SB899 bill, so if and when that happens, I'll keep you posted.

Going away and leaving the boys in good hands

The last time I saw Linda's parents was when we did the road trip to Florida (in our new CR-V) in February 2007!  Linda went on a business trip last spring to Orlando and squeezed in a few days around the business to visit with them.

Needless to say, they're anxious for us to come and visit and have been asking us to come for the past 4-6 months!  After lots of planning, the upcoming weekend was chosen for 2 reasons.  1).  It's warmer there in April, than going in February.  2).  It's Linda's Mom's birthday on Saturday the 25th.

We're making a long weekend out of it, by leaving this afternoon and coming back Monday night.

Since Sophie returned from her trip to Florida, she's been staying with us.  She's really sprouted up while she was away, measuring almost to Linda's jaw these days!  We have gotten back into a routine of snuggling together in her bed reading for a half hour before she has to go to sleep and it's really nice. 

Linda & I had thought one of our friends, who lives close by, would be able to stop over a couple of times while we're away, but unfortunately she's had some recent family illness that has had her spending a lot of time on Long Island. 

Though we knew that they'd probably be ok for the 4 days, I really didn't want to leave them without having someone check in on them, not to mention, cleaning out their cat pans and giving them fresh water. (though they do prefer toilet water!)

I decided yesterday (with much heart palpitations and nervousness) to ask my ex if she would stop in on Saturday.  I've never asked her to do anything like this before.  And she's only ever been in our place twice.  Once when we first got Sophie's bedroom set and again when I had my medical emergency last August.

Well, when I asked her yesterday, she didn't hesitate a second and asked, "Stop in only one time?"  And then because I was sitting in stunned silence, she said, "We can stop in again on Sunday after I pick Sophie up from Sunday school."

Ok, yes, I've done a million things for her.  I pick her up from the train station in the winter when I'm over on that side of town with Sophie.  I have been her & Sophie's taxi every time they've 'trained' to Florida.  I have watched her cat (though it was MY cat , too, at one time!) every time she's away on business.   But I would do these things for any of my friends.

But, these 2 cats are not her responsibility.  Though, they are technically, Sophie's cats, too.

I guess, after 5 years, my ex is finally able to be my friend.  This is a good thing.  She was, after all my best friend, once upon a time.  We've known each other for 32 years!  sigh.  And with Sophie, we'll be involved one way or another for at least another...

Anyway, the boys will be taken care of and by someone I trust. 

Since Linda's parent live a half hour away from my ex's parents, I'll be visiting them while I'm down there.  Especially, since her Mom has been moved to a rehab place where she'll be for the next 3 months, as she can't have any weight on her broken leg.

I go*gled to see about any Reform congregations in the area and the one that is nearest is led by Beth Schafer, who performed at out Temple a few months ago!  I just might check out services on Friday night!

Here's to nice sunny weather, good times with the in-laws. riding around in a golf cart and spending some nice R & R time next to the pool.  4 days with my favorite travel companion.  Woohoo!

An evening to remember

What a great weekend!  Between the weather - gloriously sunny and in the 60's, and the various social events and then Sophie coming home, my cup runneth over.

We had lunch with a friend of Linda's whom we love alot and who somehow between bites keeps us amused and entertained with a running commentary on everything from vacations to kids to just life in general.  Great fun, but she tires us both out, just listening to her!

Then we met up with 4 other couples for dinner at a nice Italian restaurant down the street from the LMAF fundraiser.  2 bottles of wine, good food and MUCH laughter later, we headed to the party.  It was a nice crowd - all ages, men & women!  All celebrating.  A big wedding cake was on a table and nice snacks were offered, but we were all too full to partake.

Great music was playing - nice mix of old and new, so we danced A LOT!  Did I mention, a LOT?  It was so much fun and it was really nice being able to give Ann Stanback a standing ovation for all of her hard work.  We headed home about 11:30-ish for the 40 minute ride home. 

Isn't it amazing how much longer it takes to recover from a night out?!  Oy.  I awoke to talk to Sophie when she called to give me an update on her journey home about 8:30 and then headed back to bed after popping some Advil.  We awoke at noon! 

After showering, getting some coffee and scanning the paper, I took off to pick up Sophie and my ex at the train station about 2.  WOW had Sophie grown since last I saw her!  And nicely tan and looking very happy to see me! 

She brought Linda a little turtle toy (for her collection of turtles) and some candles for me.  She spent the afternoon with us and since the weather was so nice, we headed to the beach in Milford to look around and enjoy the views out on the Sound. 

We dropped Sophie back with my ex on our way to bowling, where we only won 1 game, but had a great evening bowling a great group of guys.  I think we are safely protected our 13th place, thank you very much! 

And this week is a short week, as we're heading to Florida to visit Linda's folks on Thursday and not coming back until Monday night.

Busy, busy... will see if I'll get a chance to write again before I leave.

Going out with grace

We will be spending a great evening out with friends tomorrow night as Love Makes a Family is having their last fundraiser tomorrow night to celebrate marriage equality in our state and to thank the woman who is greatly responsible for all of this wonderful organization's accomplishments and hard work - Anne Stanback.

I've had the privilege of meeting this woman on more than one occasion and she is a Southern gal who is mild mannered in personality and hard driven in her work.  She and her partner just recently got married (after being together for 20+ years!) and I had asked her back in October when the CT marriage bill was passed, when was she going to get married.  She replied that they didn't know, so many choices and considerations.

Well, I found out no Faceb**k (when her status changed!) that she had gotten married.  When I saw her again a few weeks after that, I asked what they had done for the big day.  She said that after all the discussions and trying to figure out when and where and who would be invited, that it ended up being their pastor coming to their home and having their dogs as witnesses!  Simple. 

That's just how she is.  Very low-key, very happy to acknowledge everyone elses hard work and kind of push aside any credit that anyone tries to give to her.

I'm sure she'll be humble in her brief remarks tomorrow night, as she always is, but the room will be filled with love, respect and admiration for this wonderful woman and all that she has done for the gay community in CT. 

Looking forward to seeing Sophie on Sunday afternoon.  It's been a long week.

Shabbat Shalom.

love from Florida

No, I'm not in Florida, but a big part of my heart sure is...

Just got this via e-mail tonight. sigh.  Can't wait to see her on Sunday.

Post holiday wrap-up!

Passover at my sister Elizabeth's was really fun.  It had enough prayers and readings that the attention span of 6 children was dealt with correctly.  The food was amazing and we headed back to CT by 9pm with Sophie in her pj's curled up in the back of the Mini with her blanket & pillow!

2nd night at our friends' home was much more serious, but still lots of fun.  Childless Seders are like that!  It's our second year of attending this and so we recognized most of the 18 other guests.  More great food and lots of wine, too!

Friday morning, I dropped Sophie & my ex at the train station by 7:30am.  Linda & I hit the road about 9:30, after picking up coffee and bagels for the ride.  It was a beautifully sunny and mild (high 50's) day - perfect for a road trip.

We arrived at our friends' home about 1:30-ish with a lovely breeze, sunny skies and temps in the 60's!  WOW!  Their cottage is absolutely perfect.  2 bedrooms and a bath, but they blew out the ceiling, and built a loft area over the bedroom side of the house and so there is quite an airy feel to the place, as well as rustic, with the pine floors and wood walls.  We LOVED it!  Very comfy!

Though it rained all day on Saturday and got cold (40's), we slept in til 10am, had a leisurely brunch, watched a movie and then headed out about 4pm to do some errands, visit some of their friends, etc...

Sunday we woke up a bit earlier to a still cold (40's) and very windy, but very sunny day outside.  Brenda & Mary went to Easter services at a local church and had left us with a pot of coffee and the NY Times.  Perfect.

After breakfast with some of the neighbors, we headed out to Provincetown to walk Commercial Street.  We had a late lunch about 2 at the Lobster Pot - YUM!

We packed up the car and headed home about 4 and hit absolutely no traffic, arriving at 8pm.  Our 'boys' were happy to see us and we were happy to see that they had survived nicely and without too much destruction while their 'parents' were gone!

Sophie & my ex arrived without incident on Saturday - happy to be in the nice warm weather of northern central Florida.  I got a call on Sunday afternoon, though, that Sophie's grandmother (who is wheelchair bound and on dialysis) was being wheeled out of the restaurant  by her husband after having Easter dinner and he didn't see the curb and rolled her over it, tilting the chair which caused the grandmother to fall out and in the process break her leg above the knee.  The rest of the afternoon was spent getting her admitted in the hospital.

There will be surgery to fix the bone tomorrow.  And today is my ex's birthday.  From what I'm hearing, Sophie is being a trooper on her Spring break vacation.  Hope the rest of her vacation goes better.