Val-isms

A special day for a special woman

Someone celebrates a birthday every day.  In fact, I dare say that MANY people celebrate their birthdays every day.

Today, the only person who's birthday is important to me, is Linda's.

Though on her birthday, I am forced to confront our age difference (thought until my birthday 8 months from now, we are only 12 years apart!), I am also reminded that this person who I plan to spend the rest of my life with, was born very far away from where I was and it's truly amazing that we found our way to each other.

I love hearing how couples meet.  The various journeys they take in their brief beginnings that bring them to their respective life partners is nothing short of miraculous sometimes.  And then there are people like a friend of mine who I happen to also work with.  Shemet her now husband of 23 years when they were in the 5th grade at their Elementary school (which is where my daughter now goes!).  My co-worker swears that the minute she met this boy, she knew and felt that she was going to marry him someday. Wow, huh?  And I've gotten to know him over the past 5 years and they are both very lucky to have found each other and have adopted 2 beautiful children together in the last 7 years.

However, Linda wasn't just born on the other side of the state or even on the other side of the U.S.  She was born in what is now known as Saigon, Vietnam.  Her Dad was an American G.I. and her Mom was a local young woman and they fell in love in the late 1960's when he was over there involved in the Vietnam war.  Their story became a happy version of Miss Saigon. 

Linda's Dad married his love in her country and brought her and his 6 month old baby girl home to live in his home state of Connecticut.  The year was 1970.  America wasn't a very welcoming place for Vietnam veterans and I'm sure that it was doubly unwelcome to a couple that involved a Vietnam native.

Linda's Mom knew that her daughter would be better off here in the States than in Vietnam.  And she was right.  When Linda returned to Vietnam in 1999 with her parents for the first time since leaving as an infant, she was shocked and saddened to see the poverty up close. 

I am amazed at all that she has had to endure for being a 'mix' and have so much respect for all that she has accomplished in her life so far.  She's an excellent student, a hard worker and a driven spirit who genuinely looks for new opportunities that are outside her comfort zone.  She has taught me much in the past 5 years that I have known her.

She has been such a positive step-parent influence on Sophie that has taken a special friendship role and blends it with a pseudo-parenting role which provides Sophie with a special confidante that as she gets older, she will surely appreciate and be grateful for.  She has pointed out to me different and often more efficient and productive ways to guide Sophie that also tend to be less stressful for all parties involved!  The fact that she is an Asian-American has also provided Sophie with a live-in cultural role model.   

And despite our age difference, her favorite music is from the 60's!  She's a real Motown fan. She also loves the 70's & 80's, of course, too.  Somehow we seem to be from the same musical background. 

Though I wish we had met so much earlier in our lives, I know that things happen for a reason.  We both had to take our own journeys and in our own time.  The important thing is that our paths crossed and then merged.  A nice Jewish gal from Brooklyn, NY falls in love with a nice Amerasian woman from way across the ocean.  Who coulda known?!!!

I am enjoying the journey that we're on together today and the next day and the next.

Happy birthday, my love. 

And though it should be a day where we go out and celebrate together tonight, she has given me a gift.  Tonight, I'll be going to "Family Math Night" with Sophie and my ex at Sophie's school.  Thanks for being so understanding.

Great weekend away in Florida

We had a really nice time away.  We really travel well together.  Trip down was uneventful, except that annoyingly neither of us could get on-line in LaGuardia. sigh. 
I didn't realize how tired I'd be when we got to Orlando, so we end up sleeping for a half hour on our way to Ocala, where her parents live. (on the side of the road!)  We arrived close to 1AM!

We had beautiful weather the entire weekend.  Mid 80's and sunny!  Perfect.  Her parents have a great front porch that is shaded and has a nice breeze.  When we were home, we were sitting out there chatting or reading.

The pool was a golf ride away - Olympic size.  Did some sun-bathing and reading for a few hours a day.

Sat night, we took her parents out to dinner for her Mom's 68th b'day.  A nice time and good food.  We also bought a cheap bike for Linda to keep down there, so we could do some bike riding (I had use of her Dad's bike)  It's the perfect area for bike riding - pretty much flat.

Sunday we went to the Gulf coast to look around in a place called Crystal River.  Pretty area.  Found a beach to walk along and snap some pics:

Then we found a place on the water to have a snack and a drink (calamari with lots to dip into!):

We left Monday morning for the airport.  We successfully were able to gain Internet access, which made it possible to go thru work e-mails which made my re-entry into the office this morning a MUCH better experience!

We got back to our place by 10PM last night and the 'boys' were very happy to see us!  And we were very happy to see them!

Glad it's warm again today, but saw that it's only supposed to be in the high 50's tomorrow.. brrrr!

I got contacted by a few local reporters for comments from a local gay couple on the passing of the SB899 bill, so if and when that happens, I'll keep you posted.

Going away and leaving the boys in good hands

The last time I saw Linda's parents was when we did the road trip to Florida (in our new CR-V) in February 2007!  Linda went on a business trip last spring to Orlando and squeezed in a few days around the business to visit with them.

Needless to say, they're anxious for us to come and visit and have been asking us to come for the past 4-6 months!  After lots of planning, the upcoming weekend was chosen for 2 reasons.  1).  It's warmer there in April, than going in February.  2).  It's Linda's Mom's birthday on Saturday the 25th.

We're making a long weekend out of it, by leaving this afternoon and coming back Monday night.

Since Sophie returned from her trip to Florida, she's been staying with us.  She's really sprouted up while she was away, measuring almost to Linda's jaw these days!  We have gotten back into a routine of snuggling together in her bed reading for a half hour before she has to go to sleep and it's really nice. 

Linda & I had thought one of our friends, who lives close by, would be able to stop over a couple of times while we're away, but unfortunately she's had some recent family illness that has had her spending a lot of time on Long Island. 

Though we knew that they'd probably be ok for the 4 days, I really didn't want to leave them without having someone check in on them, not to mention, cleaning out their cat pans and giving them fresh water. (though they do prefer toilet water!)

I decided yesterday (with much heart palpitations and nervousness) to ask my ex if she would stop in on Saturday.  I've never asked her to do anything like this before.  And she's only ever been in our place twice.  Once when we first got Sophie's bedroom set and again when I had my medical emergency last August.

Well, when I asked her yesterday, she didn't hesitate a second and asked, "Stop in only one time?"  And then because I was sitting in stunned silence, she said, "We can stop in again on Sunday after I pick Sophie up from Sunday school."

Ok, yes, I've done a million things for her.  I pick her up from the train station in the winter when I'm over on that side of town with Sophie.  I have been her & Sophie's taxi every time they've 'trained' to Florida.  I have watched her cat (though it was MY cat , too, at one time!) every time she's away on business.   But I would do these things for any of my friends.

But, these 2 cats are not her responsibility.  Though, they are technically, Sophie's cats, too.

I guess, after 5 years, my ex is finally able to be my friend.  This is a good thing.  She was, after all my best friend, once upon a time.  We've known each other for 32 years!  sigh.  And with Sophie, we'll be involved one way or another for at least another...

Anyway, the boys will be taken care of and by someone I trust. 

Since Linda's parent live a half hour away from my ex's parents, I'll be visiting them while I'm down there.  Especially, since her Mom has been moved to a rehab place where she'll be for the next 3 months, as she can't have any weight on her broken leg.

I go*gled to see about any Reform congregations in the area and the one that is nearest is led by Beth Schafer, who performed at out Temple a few months ago!  I just might check out services on Friday night!

Here's to nice sunny weather, good times with the in-laws. riding around in a golf cart and spending some nice R & R time next to the pool.  4 days with my favorite travel companion.  Woohoo!

An evening to remember

What a great weekend!  Between the weather - gloriously sunny and in the 60's, and the various social events and then Sophie coming home, my cup runneth over.

We had lunch with a friend of Linda's whom we love alot and who somehow between bites keeps us amused and entertained with a running commentary on everything from vacations to kids to just life in general.  Great fun, but she tires us both out, just listening to her!

Then we met up with 4 other couples for dinner at a nice Italian restaurant down the street from the LMAF fundraiser.  2 bottles of wine, good food and MUCH laughter later, we headed to the party.  It was a nice crowd - all ages, men & women!  All celebrating.  A big wedding cake was on a table and nice snacks were offered, but we were all too full to partake.

Great music was playing - nice mix of old and new, so we danced A LOT!  Did I mention, a LOT?  It was so much fun and it was really nice being able to give Ann Stanback a standing ovation for all of her hard work.  We headed home about 11:30-ish for the 40 minute ride home. 

Isn't it amazing how much longer it takes to recover from a night out?!  Oy.  I awoke to talk to Sophie when she called to give me an update on her journey home about 8:30 and then headed back to bed after popping some Advil.  We awoke at noon! 

After showering, getting some coffee and scanning the paper, I took off to pick up Sophie and my ex at the train station about 2.  WOW had Sophie grown since last I saw her!  And nicely tan and looking very happy to see me! 

She brought Linda a little turtle toy (for her collection of turtles) and some candles for me.  She spent the afternoon with us and since the weather was so nice, we headed to the beach in Milford to look around and enjoy the views out on the Sound. 

We dropped Sophie back with my ex on our way to bowling, where we only won 1 game, but had a great evening bowling a great group of guys.  I think we are safely protected our 13th place, thank you very much! 

And this week is a short week, as we're heading to Florida to visit Linda's folks on Thursday and not coming back until Monday night.

Busy, busy... will see if I'll get a chance to write again before I leave.

Going out with grace

We will be spending a great evening out with friends tomorrow night as Love Makes a Family is having their last fundraiser tomorrow night to celebrate marriage equality in our state and to thank the woman who is greatly responsible for all of this wonderful organization's accomplishments and hard work - Anne Stanback.

I've had the privilege of meeting this woman on more than one occasion and she is a Southern gal who is mild mannered in personality and hard driven in her work.  She and her partner just recently got married (after being together for 20+ years!) and I had asked her back in October when the CT marriage bill was passed, when was she going to get married.  She replied that they didn't know, so many choices and considerations.

Well, I found out no Faceb**k (when her status changed!) that she had gotten married.  When I saw her again a few weeks after that, I asked what they had done for the big day.  She said that after all the discussions and trying to figure out when and where and who would be invited, that it ended up being their pastor coming to their home and having their dogs as witnesses!  Simple. 

That's just how she is.  Very low-key, very happy to acknowledge everyone elses hard work and kind of push aside any credit that anyone tries to give to her.

I'm sure she'll be humble in her brief remarks tomorrow night, as she always is, but the room will be filled with love, respect and admiration for this wonderful woman and all that she has done for the gay community in CT. 

Looking forward to seeing Sophie on Sunday afternoon.  It's been a long week.

Shabbat Shalom.

love from Florida

No, I'm not in Florida, but a big part of my heart sure is...

Just got this via e-mail tonight. sigh.  Can't wait to see her on Sunday.

Post holiday wrap-up!

Passover at my sister Elizabeth's was really fun.  It had enough prayers and readings that the attention span of 6 children was dealt with correctly.  The food was amazing and we headed back to CT by 9pm with Sophie in her pj's curled up in the back of the Mini with her blanket & pillow!

2nd night at our friends' home was much more serious, but still lots of fun.  Childless Seders are like that!  It's our second year of attending this and so we recognized most of the 18 other guests.  More great food and lots of wine, too!

Friday morning, I dropped Sophie & my ex at the train station by 7:30am.  Linda & I hit the road about 9:30, after picking up coffee and bagels for the ride.  It was a beautifully sunny and mild (high 50's) day - perfect for a road trip.

We arrived at our friends' home about 1:30-ish with a lovely breeze, sunny skies and temps in the 60's!  WOW!  Their cottage is absolutely perfect.  2 bedrooms and a bath, but they blew out the ceiling, and built a loft area over the bedroom side of the house and so there is quite an airy feel to the place, as well as rustic, with the pine floors and wood walls.  We LOVED it!  Very comfy!

Though it rained all day on Saturday and got cold (40's), we slept in til 10am, had a leisurely brunch, watched a movie and then headed out about 4pm to do some errands, visit some of their friends, etc...

Sunday we woke up a bit earlier to a still cold (40's) and very windy, but very sunny day outside.  Brenda & Mary went to Easter services at a local church and had left us with a pot of coffee and the NY Times.  Perfect.

After breakfast with some of the neighbors, we headed out to Provincetown to walk Commercial Street.  We had a late lunch about 2 at the Lobster Pot - YUM!

We packed up the car and headed home about 4 and hit absolutely no traffic, arriving at 8pm.  Our 'boys' were happy to see us and we were happy to see that they had survived nicely and without too much destruction while their 'parents' were gone!

Sophie & my ex arrived without incident on Saturday - happy to be in the nice warm weather of northern central Florida.  I got a call on Sunday afternoon, though, that Sophie's grandmother (who is wheelchair bound and on dialysis) was being wheeled out of the restaurant  by her husband after having Easter dinner and he didn't see the curb and rolled her over it, tilting the chair which caused the grandmother to fall out and in the process break her leg above the knee.  The rest of the afternoon was spent getting her admitted in the hospital.

There will be surgery to fix the bone tomorrow.  And today is my ex's birthday.  From what I'm hearing, Sophie is being a trooper on her Spring break vacation.  Hope the rest of her vacation goes better.

YAY - #6!

UCONN won and it was just as emotional as I thought it would be.  For Renee, Geno and the rest of the team - just incredible game and season.

It was wonderful to hear from my family in Israel earlier today and now I'm off to NYC for the East Coast seder with all of it's original traditions! :)

Passover 2009... the anticipation

Since tomorrow night I'll be busy making Matzo balls and watching the UCONN women win their 6th Championship, I will tell you what our Passover is looking like.

My original plan involved just the 3 of us - Linda, Sophie & me.  My parents remain in Jerusalem where they will join my brother David and his family for Passover (which I deeply miss being apart from).  My brother in California does not partake in the Passover festivities and is probably unaware that it IS Passover. 

My sister has become rather remote over the past year, for personal reasons that I completely understand, so I had no idea what she was doing for the holiday.  I was pleasantly surprised when she e-mailed me last week, upon her return from Israel (having taken her kids Maisie & Noa there for spring break!), so I ventured to invite her and the girls up to CT to join us for Passover.  As it turned out, she preferred to host it at her place in Manhattan.

So between us, though she is certainly being MUCH more domestic than I am, the Passover Seder will take place on the the 1st night of Pesach.  Sophie is thrilled (as am I) that we will be having more of a crowd feel, as a Seder of 3 can be a bit quiet and quick.

Liz has invited one of her closest friends (who just happens to not be Jewish) and her family (husband and 3 children), and 2 other friends, so a crowd of 13 will gather and most likely have a disjointed but guaranteed original Seder!  The cousins will most certainly have a fabulous time!

We'll pick Sophie up from school on Wednesday at 3:30 and get on the road, only stopping once at Stew Leonard's for a 'seltzer run'!  (We'll see just how many 12-can cases of seltzer can fit in a Mini Cooper!) and hoping to get to the Upper West Side by 5-ish.

In addition to the seltzer, will be the hard boiled eggs, my parents' Seder plate, and the matzo balls!  I think that roasted chicken, some vegetables and who knows what else, will be served that evening.

The ride home will have Linda & Sophie happily snoozing and I'll enjoy the peaceful silence while I rehash the evening in my head, remembering Passover dinners of my past.  I will wonder why I never really appreciated those times when we were all together.  How it was a chore to have to spend an evening with my family.  And why must we read all that stuff out loud?  If only I had realized then how precious those evenings were.

As I've only had 2 Passovers with Linda & Sophie, I'm still in the process of getting into any kind of 'traditions'.  I hope that in the years to come, I come to create a certain kind of 1st night for us and get confident enough to invite any family and friends over to join us.

Thursday morning, Sophie & I are taking the morning off to go to a family Passover service at Temple.  The Jr Choir is singing and it should be a fun service with our Community.  Linda doesn't have that kind of flexibility with her job, so she won't be joining us.

This is the 2nd year that Linda & I have been invited to 2nd night Seder at our friend Bari's home.  She has between 20-25 people over and it's a very creative Seder with a diverse group of people from our Temple.  It was a lot of fun last year and I'm sure it will be this year, as well.

Early Friday morning, I'm dropping Sophie and my ex at the train station as theystart their journey to Florida for spring break.  They'll be gone until the 19th.

Linda & I will get on the road to Cape Cod about 9am on Friday morning as we've been invited to spend the weekend with our friends Brenda & Mary at their summer home in Wellfleet, MA.  Though the weather isn't supposed to be very warm or sunny, it will be nice to get away with them.  They were our roommates when we went to Vermont back in January.

We'll be back late on Easter Sunday.  No bowling.

My next post will provide a comparison of what I anticipated versus what REALLY happened... should prove to be interesting!

So, to all those who celebrate Passover, have a Happy Passover and to those who celebrate Easter, have a Happy Easter.  For those who are just enjoying the beginning of spring, have a great rest of your week!

... and it comes down to 1 game

UCONN beat Stanford tonight to get into the Championship game on Tuesday night with Louisville!  I was so glad it wasn't a close game, like the Oklahoma/Louisville game was.  And I'm thrilled that we won't have to hear about those damn Paris twins any more.  Jeez.  Bubba -- they're all yours again!

I've been busy with who knows what over the past week, which has made me too tired to even read other people's blogs, much less blog on my own.

Suffice it to say that things are good here in my world.

Sherry the Fairy is still alive and well. and I met another of Sophie's friend's Mom on Saturday, who is also involved in Fairy note writing and wants to know where all this started!  Too funny.  Their fairy is Tracy and the girl's Dad is doing all the tiny print note writing!

I'll end with a cute anecdote.  (Keep in mind that Linda is not Jewish... but you'll see how much being involved with someone who IS Jewish is having an affect on her!)

When being served her dinner at the diner before bowling, she asked the waiter for her usual staple, red pepper flakes, and he replied that they didn't have any.

After her walked away, she turned to me and said incredulously, "They have a menu bigger than the Tanakh, and they don't have red pepper flakes??!!!" (and she said the "ch" sound at the end of the word perfectly, I might add!)