Val-isms

Hers, mine... OURS!

I'll try not to be one of those 'pet moms' who talks incessantly about her pets or keeps showing pictures every chance I get, but please indulge me for just a little bit of time.

You have to understand that I've always had cats in my life.  Always.  Growing up, we had 2 at a time (along with at least 2 dogs, cuz just having 4 kids apparently wasn't chaotic a household for my parents!) and with my ex, we had a minimum of 2 cats at a time, and for awhile, the count was at 4!

In the 'divorce', the cat (Olivia, who is now 14) remained in my ex's custody.  I got to have her when there were business trips, but somehow I didn't have a full-time cat of my own anymore.

Linda came into the relationship with me, with her Oakee.  This was the cat she had had since college.  The one constant through her life who went through boyfriends, marraige, coming out as a lesbian, her first gay relationship and then me.  When she passed this past summer, Linda wasn't sure she would ever be able to have another cat again.

I respected her grieving period and actually started enjoying not having the 'mess' that cats inevitably make. 

But Sophie really wanted us to have a cat.  Well, actually, a kitten.  After some badgering, we finally told her that after we came back from Israel, we would discuss the possibility of getting a cat, but it would have to be when Linda was ready.

Then the discussion happened, and I was pushing for 2 cats, so that they'd have company.  And males are so cuddly... and if one of them could be orange, that'd be nice... (you notice that I have a lot of requirements!!!)

So that's how we ended up with our boys.  And they really have settled in quite nicely.  These pictures are from last night.  It's a shame that Sophie and the boys don't get along at all! :)

Sophie & Petey:

 

Sophie & Tommy:

 

Here's how TV viewing is done sans cats:

 

Oh and don't even think that once Sophie is out of the pciture, that our laps aren't filled with cats as we watch TV, cuz it's one big fur fest on the couch each evening!

Here's to getting out early from work today!  Don't you just love the days before a holiday???!

Thinking of others today

Though it's a beautiful time of the year when one tends to get reflective and realize just how lucky they are, there are a few in my life right now who are experiencing life's challenges in one way or another.

So if you're one of the lucky ones, keep these people in your thoughts and prayers as you sit around your tables this week:  Tina, Jess and David.

Family additions

In keeping with the Thanksgiving spirit, we have much to be thankful for and decided that our family needed to expand.

We went out to do errands and ended the morning at the Humane Society in Westport where we picked out these 2 guys.  Introducing Tommy (age 3):

  and Petey (age 10 mos)

 

They weren't brothers prior to today, but now they are.  They seem to be getting along and are enjoying exploring their new home.  They're both pretty cuddly guys and we're real happy that they're with us.

Outreaching successfully

Our Kulanu group has been growing as I mentioned when I wrote about our 5 year anniversary a few months back.  Mostly our events involve more social activities and always with just our group members. 

But since it IS supposed to be an outreach group, we have tried to come up with events that could include other congregants who my not be gay, but are either supportive just because or because they have gay/lesbian family members or friends.

So when planning the events for the 2008-9 year, one of the things we hoped to have would be an 'open' forum to invite Kulanu members, as well as any congregants who were allies of ours for an informal sharing evening.

Last night, Linda & I hosted this event and we had 13 attendees, including 4 'allies' and it was a wonderful evening.  The first hour was a geting to know you - share your story if you want or just introduce yourselves to the group. 

Our Temple clergy has been very supportive over the years of Connecticut's lobbying organization Love Makes A Family and I have done a few fundraisers for them over the past few years.

So the second hour was a brief informal informational talk given by a representative from Love Makes a Family on what is on their agenda for next steps in the marraige equality cause and other GLBT issues.

The rep from LMAF is the 'Faith Outreach' person who is helping various religious groups in organizing themselves to help support our fight for marriage equality, whether it be thru best practice meetings or just helping them to help LMAF in whatever way is comfortable for them.

We ended the evening with people expressing positive feedback and feeling like there were things we can do in the very near future such as provide a space to hand out postcards to fill out that can be sent to politicians around our State, encouraging them to support gay marraiage for their constituents, at our next Mitzvah Day in December.

We now have a contact at LMAF who will be in touch with us when they need our support and who can educate us on other needs, such as how there needs to be more educational forums for people who want to help in the area of equality for transgenders, which is an area needing legilation to protect their rights, along with pushing for federal marraige equality.

It was a great evening and once again, Linda & I were reminded about how wonderful our home is for entertaining.

After everyone left, we watched the taped UCONN vs San Diego State game and relished in the blow-out win by our girls - 99-55!  WOOHOO!  (sorry Cruisin Mom, but your girls just couldn't keep up!)

We have a quiet weekend ahead.  UCONN plays tomorrow afternoon against Rhode Island.  Should not be a problem for us.

Linda & I have been invited to a dinner party at one of our fellow congregants home on Saturday night.  We really like this woman and know a few people who will be there, so it's sure to be a nice evening.

Though the temps won't be much above 40 this weekend, we may try and get out on the bikes Sunday afternoon. 

Shabbat Shalom.

Home Improvement 101

So, stereotypically, one might look at me and by appearance alone, take me to be a woman who has the look of someone into sports and more 'butch' qualities.  They'd be right.  However, handy, is not included as one of my areas of expertise.

Don't get me wrong.  I can take out the trash, move furniture and generally be strong when needed.  But, when it comes to putting things together, my patience level is not real high and my visualization for the completed item is not helpful to getting a good end result!  (How's that for an understatement, Linda!!!)

So, despite all that and, the vow from Linda the last time we did the journey to IKEA, that we would NEVER AGAIN get anything that required assembly, there we were a week ago loading the back of the car with a nice shelf thing that had cubbies to fill and a beautiful fairly large mirror (65"x 35") to put on the wall over it.  All of this in order to make our front entryway look nice.

First, Linda decided to avoid my input entirely and started the shelving unit assmbly herself before I got home one night last week.  When I asked if she wanted assistance, she politely but emphatically told me that she was fine.  So I let her be.

An hour later, she started complaining how her hand was hurting from screwing in all the screws.  I then went to help.   It wasn't until after we were done, that I remembered that the drill would have certainly helped to do that tedious and painful task!  Next time, honey!

When we unwrapped the mirror from it's packaging, we discovered that it did not come with any hanging hardware.  sigh.

And it had keyhole holes on either side, so it would require fine measuring to ensure that the screws were placed in JUST the right place so as to fit into those holes.

We purchased a hanging kit that would hold 50lbs and discovered that the drill bit that was needed was a 7/16".  My drill bit kit had a thousand (ok, 20+!) bits in there of all sizes, but NOT a 7/16" one.  HOW ANNOYING.  But, there was also this annoyingly large bit that didn't have a nice slot, but was just there.  But it had no markings on it.  Strange.

So yesterday, we stopped in Home Depot to get the 'special' 7/16" bit and last night, with determination, we began the mirror hanging project.

Upon getting the drill set up with the new bit, I saw an interesting thing.  That 'extra' drill bit that didn't have a slot?  Yep, it was excactly the same size as the 7/16" bit I just bought!  Could it have been MARKED, for Pete's sake?!!!  Or is everyone supposed to know upon just LOOKING at the friggin' thing that it's a 7/16" drill bit????!!!!  #$(*Y$%(*&#$()*&@#$_*(&$

Anyway, I stepped away from the drill kit and drilled the holes with confidence.  Then I put the plastic thingees that the screws go into (yes, that's the technical term!  Bite me!) and Linda & I lifted the mirror up only to find that my measurements were off by 1/4" - just enough to NOT allow the mirror to hang.  sigh.

Not put off by this dilemma or the annoyed look on my lovely Linda's face, I decided that the mirror could just go up and inch and a half and new measurements would be taken and voila!, we'd just try it again.  Thankfully, we had gotten a hanging kit with 4 screws and plastic thingees!

Well, the second attempt was perfect and the mirror actually stayed on the wall!

Here's a couple of shots of our newly 'decorated' front hallway.  (Note that the picture frames are empty, as we need to put pictures in them, but gals can only do SO much in an evening!)

 

The door to the right of the mirror leads to a landing and a stairway down to our front door.  Our condo is a ranch style on the top floor.  (The doors reflected in the mirrow is the huge front hall closet for coats, etc...)

and from another angle:

   

The doors with the gratings have our washer/dryer behind them.  The other door is a linen storage closet.

When we went to bed last night, we both agreed that there would be the sound of a crash during the night as the mirror dropped off the wall, but we awoke with it still where we put it!

So now we can check ourselves out as we put on our coats on our way out.  Very nice.  And I think I've earned some 'handy-person points' in the process.  Perhaps a tool belt will be one of my Hanukkah gifts this year.

Inspiring music

Linda, Sophie & I attended a wonderful musical concert at our Temple this past Saturday night.

If you've never heard of Beth Schafer, don't feel bad, neither had I.  But you should.  If you want to be uplifted and listen to a woman sing where you can understand the words, this music is for you.  She has a truly beautiful voice, too!

She came to kick off our Temple's 150th anniversary year long celebration.  As part of the weekend plans, she spent Sunday morning with all of our Temple choirs (1st-3rd grade, 4th-6th grade, adult choir, teen choir, etc...) recording one of her songs "In This House", which will then be made into a CD that will be sent out to all of the families in our Congregation as a Hanukkah gift.  Cool, right?

We got 2 of her CD's at the concert and even Sophie enjoys listening to her while driving in the car!  She loved doing the recording on Sunday morning during Sunday school, too.

Here, go check her out!  CLICK HERE! 

Here she is with our new President-elect:

Husky time

It's official.  UCONN women's basketball season has started.  Amen.

We were ranked #1 going into our first game - versus Georgia Tech. 

Linda & I drove up to the UCONN campus in Storrs, CT with Sophie and her friend Maya for the game Sunday afternoon.

It was great to get a peek at 2 of the 3 Freshmen (1 is out for a few weeks with mono), but boy, after hearing how great they and the rest of the team had played in their 2 exhibition games last week, we were extremely disappointed with the sloppy playing they showed us.  Even the players from last year were not playing up to their potential.

They squeaked out a win by 11 points, but that is NOT typical UCONN winning.  We like a 30+ margin.  For Pete's sake, it was tied 34 all at the half.  Totally unacceptable.

Let's hope that Geno motiviates them to be a LOT better for their next game this Thursday against San Diego State.

Protesting artistically

People, listen up!

If you're gonna go to a protest, please make sure you hook up with these 2! 

 

Amazing home made signs that went WAY beyond the simple stick figure graphics I could ever do. 

I was honored to help carry one of them on our lap around the green in New Haven in protest against the decision of Prop 8 in California. 

There were protests all over the country, kids.  Did everyone go out and do their peaceful civic duty?  I hope so.

Of course, you know those 2, right?  It's her & her. 

We were also joined by the Kitty Litter family  - but no good pics came out of them - sorry guys!  Thanks for hosting us at your very dry restaurant afterwards - very hospitable of you!

Hmmm... when ARE we getting married?

When the decision for marriage between same-sex couples came down WAY back on October 10th, we were so stunned and excited.

We'd been asked many times since we got engaged back on November 1, 2006, when we were planning to get 'hitched' and my reply was always the same: "When we can get married."

Then they gave us Civil Unions, that didn't appeal to me, because despite the same rights that married people received being given to gay couples, it still seemed somehow unequal because it wasn't termed the same.  If it's the same, then it should be called the same.

[When I'd hear people say things like, "What's the big deal?  It's just a word.  Yours will give you all the same rights, but it'll be called Civil Union.", I would mumble under my breath, "Well, if it's the same thing, WE'LL take the word marriage and YOU take the term Civil Union and you see how fair and equal you feel."]

Over the past 2 years, Linda & I have had many 'hypothetical' planning sessions for our wedding.  It was like dreaming and envisioning together.  Such fun.

And because I'm basically a pretty optimistic (ok, VERY idealistic!) when I would tell people that the laws would change, I really believed it.  But still, when they announced it on October 10th, I was SO surprised.  And happy.  And well, I just felt SO so accepted.  Legitimate.

And then we, of course, started talking about dates - should it be on the anniversary of one of the 3 other 'special' days that we have?  Should we take into consideration out of town family members with children who might not want their kids taken out of school?  Should we have a morning or evening ceremony?  Formal?  Informal?  Reception?  or not?

Like in the words in Genesis, all the questions just begot more questions.  And in turn, begot more details that had never come up before in our 'dream-like' discussions!

And then when they announced the date that marriage licenses would be obtainable for gay couples, all of a sudden my instant-gratification self started to rear it's ugly head and I actually thought about waking up on 12th of November, heading to Town Hall with Linda, getting the license and having a Justice of the Peace (perhaps even someone we know!) perform the ceremony on the steps on the wy out of the building! 

Here's some things that were swirling around my head in my random thought process (using the term process very loosely!)

I'm 50 years old - - do I really need a BIG deal wedding?

I'm 50 years old - - I've waited my whole life to meet my soul mate and be able to marry her legally.  It IS a big deal!

I've attended all 3 of my siblings weddings and I want them to be there for mine.

I want Sophie to get her wish to get a really frilly dress, along with her 2 cousins, and have them toss flower petals as they skip down the aisle.

I want to dance a 'first dance' in front of my close friends and family with the woman I'm going to spend the rest of my life with.

I want the whole shabang.

So while I would marry Linda today or tomorrow or any day, for that matter, our wedding date has not been determined yet.

There's planning to be done.  And I'm nothing if not a list-maker extraordinaire! 

In the meantime, I'm enjoying all the many resources on the Internet and researching all of the many possibilities.

Excuse me for being such a romantic and sentimentalist ... I just can't help it!

Listen and be proud

In my new found addiction of watching MSNBC, I've discovered a nice guy by the name of Keith Olbermann.  He precedes Rachel (Maddow) in the evening.

The other night, he gave one of the most passionate 'talks' regarding the Prop 8 issue and just gay rights in general.

Please go and listen.  We need more eloquent and passionate supporters like him. Click here.

Oh and today, Connecticut begins issuing marraige licences to gay and lesbian couples!  WOOHOO!