Val-isms

Introduction to traditions and a great concert

Despite being on the verge of a bad cold most of the weekend, it was a good weekend. 

 

Friday night, after services, we tried out an Asian restaurant that had been recommended to us by someone at Temple.  Ambiance and food were both very good.  It was a nice ‘date night’.

 

I started reading “A Thousand Splendid Suns” by Khaled Hosseini.  What a great writer.  His books just suck me in and I don’t want to put them down.  I’m about two thirds thru and as much as I want to finish it, I dread it being over.  His characters are so real.  I like getting lost in his books.

 

For the first time in forever, I could not get up and out for Saturday morning services.  My head was stuffed and my throat was sore and I just felt ‘blah’.  So I waved goodbye to Linda, as she left for her 25-mile bike ride, popped some Sudafed cold pills and curled up with my Saturday NY Times and my book and dozed off and on for the morning.  It was wonderful.

 

We had plumbing issues resolved by our plumber while I lounged.  Now it will be up to the insurance company to deal with our downstairs neighbor as to repair her soggy bathroom ceiling and wall.

 

When Linda returned later in the morning, I showered and we headed out to look for an inexpensive gas grill for our deck.  We found one and headed home.  Carrying that upstairs was interesting, but successful!  Then we headed to the pool for some R&R and cooling off.

 

Sophie arrived about 5 and we had a quick dinner so we could start our “Movie Night” early, as it was a 3-hour flick.  “Fiddler On the Roof”.  I have seen the movie several times and we even saw the Broadway show that had Harvey Feirstein & Rose O’Donnell (Oy vay) as the leads!

 

Watching this movie with Sophie was a completely unique experience.  It was so cool to see how much she understood of the ‘traditions’ just from her experiences in Sunday school, services, being around her family in Israel and our discussions on being Jewish.  She asked a lot of questions throughout the film and thoroughly enjoyed Tevye dancing to “If I were a Rich Man”, as well as his musings to G-d in his every day chores. 

 

I was afraid that it was going to be too long or not enough action for her age, but she really loved it.  That’s really saying something when an almost 8 year old can sit through a 3-hour movie.  I don’t have a need to own any movies, but I think this one will have to be purchased, as it’s truly a classic.

 

Sunday morning had us picking up Sophie’s friend Amelia and heading to the Maritime Aquarium/IMAX theatre.  We saw a great IMAX movie called “The Wild Ocean” about the creatures living in the waters off of the coast of Africa.  We all enjoyed it immensely.  Then we walked leisurely around the aquarium and saw the newest exhibit – an albino alligator (1 of only 44 in existence!) 

When we got home, there was a little time to take a dip in the pool to cool before taking the kids to Amelia’s for the last part of the afternoon.

 

I headed home to get ready to go to see Melissa Etheridge.  The weather was a little precarious; rain showers/thunderstorms were predicted for the area.  Where we were seeing her was completely outdoors, so we took off with our chairs and umbrellas and hoped for the best.

 

We had a great time with Tina & Kat (thanks, guys!) with a pre-concert dinner at Chili’s and then got lost getting to the concert, but managed to get there just as Melissa took the stage promptly at 8. 

 

She didn’t stop singing/talking for the next 2 hours and 50 minutes.  What a fantastic performer she is.  She had her play list in chronological order for the most part with a nice narration between each song talking about the emotional place she was when she wrote each song.  It was cool.  She also dealt with a very persistent fan that convinced her to add to the scheduled songs, the song “Sleep while I drive”.

 

Though I wasn’t thrilled with the venue (parking was WAY far from the actual stage/seating area), we had a really great evening.

 

Linda rested her eyes most of the ride home, but we both agreed; it was a great concert, though rather late night for us.

 

We both felt it this morning as we returned to the reality of the workweek.

 

Thankfully, it’s a short workweek, with having Friday off for 4^th of July celebrating.

Camp, mourning & other activities

It's been a long, sad week.

Linda doesn't get sad often.  But she has been in a mourning funk all week.  She had planned vacation for Wed-Friday to use up some vacation days before losing them, so that worked out well.  She seems to do better in dealing with things in her own space.  Alone time is a necessity for her, as well, and having the days to herself and then having Sophie & I in the evenings gave her that needed space.

I think she's coming to terms with our home without an animal.  But it's still weird for both of us.

Every morning has me heading for the water bowl to put fresh water in it, only to remember with a jolt that there is no need.  It's those little things in a daily routine that you don't even think about, that you miss when they are no longer needed.

Sophie's first week at camp was good.  There are kids in her class that she knows from past years, and she's also made some new friends.  There are also 2 other Asian girls, which was great, as their first 'project' was to bring in a baby picture and see if people could identfy them, and she thought she'd be really easy to find, but with 3 Asian kids, it wasn't so simple.

They went bowling, roller skating and had a field trip to the Mystic Aquarium, and many other fun activities.  I'm so thankful to have found this wonderful camp for her.  She's been going here since she was 9 months old!

The weekend is relatively un-busy for us.  Linda & I have no specific plans outside of attending services.  Sat night will be movie night with Sophie.  We were given 4 passes to the Maritime Aquarium/IMAX theatre from a co-worker, so we'll be doing that on Sunday with one of Sophie's friends.  And swimming will be happening, at some point or another.

Sunday night, Linda & I will be going to see Melissa Etheridge (Linda's birthday present from April!) at a local venue up in Danbury.  Should be great, as long as it doesn't rain, as it's an outdoor venue.  We're going with another couple who are celebrating their 10 year anniversary and we haven't really seen these 2 in a long time.  It'll be nice to spend some time with them.

Shabbat Shalom. 

06-21-08 Farewell

Though it semed innocent enough - a cyst bursting on the tail and a slight infection causing a fever, the vet suggested blood work be done and that they inject fluid under Oakee's skin, as she seemed dehydrated.

We got home and let her rest for the evening on Friday night.

We were told not to give her the antibiotics on an empty stomach, but she wouldn't eat all day on Saturday.  She chose a spot either under Sophie's bed or in the middle of Sophie's bedroom.  I laid on the floor beside her for about a half hour just talking to her and telling her she'd be feeling better soon.

We were out for a few hours in the afternoon, and while I went to pick up Sophie, Linda headed home.  She called me and said that Oakee was not responding, not able to walk, was pretty out of it.  I left Sophie with my ex, borrowed a cat carrier (Oakee had peed all over the cardboard one we had used on Friday!) and headed home to get Linda & Oakee.

Off to the emergeny vet we went.  Oakee was wide-eyed, but very quiet.

When we arrived, they whisked her off to stabalize/evaluate her.  They asked to take x-rays, which we agreed to.

They told us that there was a large mass (most likely cancerous) pressing against her heart.  We had a decision to make.  We didn't know what to do.  They said that they needed blood work to find out what they were dealing with, so they took some blood and ran some tests.

This proved to show that she was anemic and had kidney issues.  She was in pretty rough shape.

Decisions.  They're a bitch.  Especially when it's about a friend who has been with you since college.

Linda held Oakee, all wrapped up in a blanket, on her lap in a nice lounge area and got to whisper in her ear all the things she wanted to say to her.  We pet her and told her that she was going to be out of pain soon.

The vet came in and gave her the injections while Linda had her in her arms.  It was quick.  And we sat with her while we imagined her spirit being in peace.

She was a special cat.  She left a hole in Linda's heart.  It's been a very sad weekend.

Rest in peace, Oakee.

Now what I have gotten myself into?

In trying to be in the mindset of "don't just bitch and moan about it, but get involved and do something to help/change it",  I accepted the nomination of becoming a member of the Board of Trustees of our Temple.

Ever since I received the phone call a few months ago and then the letter with the announcement, I've been so flattered, excited and eager to get involved.  (Having already become members of 2 committees- Caring & Religious School, I'd already become involved at some level)

After the annual meeting held last night, I'm trying to remain optimistic.  What do they say about what happens when there is a room full of Jews?!!  Oy vay, let the whining and kvetching begin!  It was nice to hear all that is going on, but when it came to talk about the budget, it started to get a bit ugly.

Anyway, the new President is a nice woman whom I get along with and though there are certainly financial challenges, there are also many things to look forward to in helping to make some positive changes and plan some fun projects.

Aside from a picnic invite on Sunday, our weekend should be fairly quiet and with household chores being a priority.

Sophie's last day of school was Tuesday and she starts Summer Day Camp on Monday, which she's looking forward to.

Oh and Linda's cat Oakee (16 and going strong) has an issue on her tail, that is going to be checked out this afternoon.  Seems like a cyst may have burst.  Hopefully, that's all it is.

Shabbat Shalom.

Leadership graduation, blogger fests, Father's Day, oh my!

It's finally cooled down a bit, or rather the humidity is non-existant today.  It's still hot out, but very nice.  Sunny and beautiful

My Dad had some minor surgery yesterday and will be 'sprung' sometime today.  Everything went well.  Just in time for Father's Day on Sunday. 

Tonight, there is a little 'graduation' at services for the Temple Leadership class that I participated in over the past 9 months.  I learned a lot of the behind the scenes workings of the Temple, met some great people and look forward to getting more involved in serving the Temple.  Unfortunately, my parents have theatre tickets tonight, so they won't be able to be there, but they'll be there in spirit.

Tomorrow, we're heading up to Sassy & Fran's for a CT blogger get together.  It should be nice.  Weese & her spouse and Kitty Litter & her spouse will be there.  Sassy & Fran are always great hosts.  Linda & I may even bring our bikes and do a little ride before heading home...

Saturday night, Sophie will be with us for movie night... we are all caught up on the Indiana Jones saga (having watched the 3rd one on Wed night), so not sure what movie will be watched.

Sunday, hoping to get together with Mom & Dad for breakfast followed by a day at the pool and maybe checking out the carnival being held up the street later in the day.

Shabbat Shalom.

A-B-C Meme

A is for your age: The big 5-0

B is for your burger of choice: With chedder cheese, and a little mayo.

C is for the car that you drive: We have a ’97 Volvo wagon and a ’07 Honda CR-V, but I drive the Volvo.

D is for dog's name: no dogs.

E is for an essential item you use each day: toothbrush

F is for your favorite television show: Oprah

G is for favorite game: scrabble

H is for hometown: born in Brooklyn, NY, but hometown (place spent the most time in) New Paltz, NY

I is for instruments played: piano, trumpet

J is for favorite juice: orange and grapefruit

K is for what you'd like to kick: over –eating

L is for last restaurant you dined at: John’s Best Pizza

M is for your favorite muppet: Kermit

N is for number of piercings you have: 5 – 2 in my left ear and 3 in my right ear

O is for overnight hospital stays: lazy eye surgery when I was 4 (left eye), tonsils (age 13)

P is for people you were with today: Sophie, my co-workers

Q is for what you do in quiet times: surf the net, read, watch tv

R is for regrets: Not leaving my ex A LOT earlier, but then believing that all things happen for a reason, don’t look at it as a regret, as if I had left earlier, I might not have met Linda nor had my beautiful daughter.

S is for status: engaged to Linda and Mom to Sophie

T is for time you woke up today: 6:20am

U is for what you consider unique: hands

V is for favorite vegetable: green beans

W is for your worst habit: chewing the inside of my lips

X is for x-rays you have had: teeth, broken arm, broken bone in top of foot,  many other bumps and bruises

Y is for yummy food you ate today: hot dogs with spicy mustard

Z is for zodiac sign: Sagittarius – not that I believe in that stuff….  Dec 21^st – so I’m a ‘cusp’ baby.  From what I’ve read, I’m more Sagittarius than Capricorn.

Swimming lessons

Yesterday, with the heat, they dismissed the kids early again, so I picked up Sophie from school and we went home, where I finished doing some work and she hung out in a nicely air-conditioned home.

 

We invited my parents over to swim and have dinner with us, and told them anytime after 4 o’clock would be good.  (No need to ‘cook ourselves’ outside before the sun started setting)

 

Sophie & I headed to the pool about 4:45, leaving a note on the door for them to either head inside to the coolness or come on over to the pool.  Being that my Mom isn’t a big swimmer, I wasn’t sure if she would want to hang outside without any pool relief, I wanted to give her that option.

 

About 5, my parents arrived poolside.  My Dad immediately headed for the clubhouse to change into his trunks, and then promptly entered the pool.  My Mom grabbed a chaise in the shade and watched us all in the pool.  All were happy!

 

Some comments were made by my Mom about how wonderful it was that we had the pool to use.  I could see that she was happy for me.  I think the term ‘country club living’ was mentioned!  And indeed, it seems like it is these days!

 

After that refreshing time in the pool, we headed indoors to experience my great culinary talents (NOT!) of some pasta with some meat sauce (affectionately known in our home as Val’s beef-a-roni!).

 

It was a nice evening, which ended with Sophie playing the piano for my parents.  Though my parents knew that she has been taking lessons, they had yet to hear her play in person.  Over the phone, yes, but not ‘live’!

 

Sophie warmed up for a bit and then called us into her room where the keyboard is.  Without any fuss or embarrassment, she proceeded to play her latest piece almost flawlessly.  She really looked pleased with herself as she finished and her grandparents made just the right amount of fuss over her accomplishment.

 

I’d always wanted to share my interests with my child and though my interests include more athletic ones, music is pretty high up on the list, too.  Not that I was ever a performer, but I’m so very grateful that my parents pushed me to take lessons in piano and then provided me with trumpet lessons, as well.  I don’t see athletics being important to Sophie at all, at this point, except to note that she likes the cheerleader outfits… sigh.

 

I also forgot how much swimming was a part of my childhood.  When we lived in upstate NY, there was a town pool that I spent entire summer days there with friends and family.  When we moved to San Diego, CA for 3 years, my brother David & I got to pick the house and I know for me, it had nothing to do with square footage or # of bedrooms/bathrooms.  It was all about having a pool!  I loved being able to swim pretty much year round.  Between riding my bike every day and swimming back then, it’s no wonder that, at the end of my freshman year in high school, I was 5’6” and 104 pounds! 

 

It’s been many years since I’ve had a pool.  And it was on my ‘wish list’ when condo living became high on the priority list for our house hunting.  But I always put in on the list in terms of being a fun thing for Sophie and her friends.  I’m not crazy about being in a bathing suit myself.

But I have to admit…forget about what I look like in a bathing suit (and I’ve seen better and worse!), it’s all about having fun in the water and getting some exercise.  I’m loving it and I hope it’s something that Sophie carries with her when she gets older, along with the piano lessons and other opportunities her parents are able to provide for her.

Good golly... it's hot!

For some reason, that made me think of Sassy Femme (something I'm sure she's said or is saying!)

You KNOW it's hot outside when they close the schools early.  Yep, the prediction for 95+ degree weather (it's 86 currently at 11:15am) today has pushed the officials to have pity on our kids who will be 'baking' in their classrooms which have NO a/c. 

My ex will leave to get Sophie and work from home.  I'm sure she'll be plenty upset on having to leave early... NOT!

It was so hot over the weekend, that we only were out at the pool for about an hour and a half, cuz unless you were in the pool, it was just uncomfortable to be outside.  It was so nice to have central a/c.  It was heaven when we got back inside!

Then there was a fantastic thunder/lightening storm with torrential rain in the late afternoon that kind of cooled things a bit, but not much.

I headed over the Temple about 8:00pm for a Shavuot lecture on environmental agriculture and relating Judaism to it.  Very interesting and with lots of cheesecake and wonderful chedder cheese from a farm up in Vermont.

A very full weekend, but wonderful except for missing Linda.  Only 2 more nights til she's home!

Fun in the city

Things are finally calming down at work.  The past month has been HELL.  I'm fairly caught up and my boss has been more than appreciative/sympathetic of the craziness we've all been going through.

But who wants to read about work?  Didn't think so.

Tonight, Sophie is going to the end of year bonfire at the beach with her Brownies troop.  My ex is taking her.  The weather is kind of gray and cool, so it might be nice to have a fire.

Linda & I will be going to Services and then doing some cleaning/straightening up and she'll be packing.

She's heading to Atlanta tomorrow for a work trade show. She'll be back on Wednesday.  I'll be counting the days, hours and minutes.

I'll be spending Saturday with our Kulanu group.  Services in the morning, then Torah study with a 'gay theme' (cool!) and then jumping on the train to NYC to visit the Jewish Museum.  Early evening will have us at the ComedySportz show to see our friend Glenn and his funny friends!  Should be a very full and fun day!  Just wish Linda was gonna be with me.

Sunday will find me & Sophie hanging by the pool most of the day.  We'll have a friend or 2 of hers over, as well.  It's supposed to be in the 90's all weekend and everyone will be better off if I'm able to somehow find a way to cool off!

Shabbat shalom.

Belated commemoration

Yesterday, June 4th, would have been my Grandma Fay's 100th birthday.

It's been twelve and a half years since she passed away and there aren't too many days that I don't think of her and/or speak of her.  I have told Sophie so much about her, that the other day, we were talking (of course, I can't remember what about) and Sophie said, "Oh, Grandma Fay woulda loved THAT!".  It made me smile.  Though Sophie has never met this wonderful woman, she knows enough to relate something to her.

Here are some things I remember:

She told me that she'd live forever or at least until she was 120, so "she'd get back every cent that the government took from me over the years!"  I believed her.  Selfishly I was mad when she died at 88.

She always told me to "just take care of yourself, cuz no one else will.  Why should you help others?  Who's gonna help you?"  Despite what she preached, I tend to think and do for others and have never felt like I was being taken advantage of.

She always told me that I was her favorite grandchild.  I found out after her death, that each one of us (there were 4) had been told the same thing.

Grocery shopping  with her when I was a child, meant that I could ask for all the crap/junk food I wanted and I'd never hear the word "NO".  I'd get the worst upset stomach, but next time I visited, I'd do it all over again!  Because I wanted to and she let me!

Grocery shopping with her as an older chld and adult, meant that a). I had to check her pockets and b). keep the wrappers of all the food she ate along the way.  This was her personal protest on the price increases on food.

I can remember being a toddler sitting in her lap while she sang her own made up song that only consisted of the one line of "Ah-ah baby over and over in a soothing voice.  I watched her do this with her first 2 great-grandchildren, with tears in my eyes.  And as I type this, tears are welling up picturing those images.

She never learned to drive, having lived in big cities most of her life.  She loved going for rides with me, looking at houses and enjoying the views of the Connecticut countryside.  Her favorite types of roads were ones where the trees overhung, creating a 'tunnel' affect as you drove through.  I think of her when I drive on or see roads like that. 

She turned me onto Big Band music at a very young age and to this day, when I hear it, I think of her.  Her favorite pop songs were "Never on a Sunday" and "Lemon Tree".   I don't know who did Never on a Sunday, but I know that she had several albums by Trini Lopez!

She took me to Coney Island when I was a kid and let me swim in just my underpants.  I thought I was so cool. 

She also took me to the Bronx Zoo alot.  And each time I'd swear that I wouldn't get sick/dizzy on the Merry-go-Round.  Each time, she'd put me on and stand aside to wave as I went by.  Each time, she'd have to have them stop it after it really got going, as I was screaming "STOP IT!  I WANT TO GET OFF!".  And then she'd buy me a box of Cracker Jack's and we'd sit on a bench watching the Polar Bears together.  We both loved those bears.

She wore a wig for as long as I knew her and when I was about 10, I started being the one to trim those few whisps of hair that actually grew on her head.  I loved doing it.  

She always touched my bare arms and legs and said, "Oh, so soft.  You have the softest skin."  I would just shake my head and think she was a crazy lady.  I find myself doing this with Sophie and now I know why.  Skin at 50, (which is how old she was when I was born) certainly is not as soft as a childs. 

To ths day, when our family gets together, at some point at the end of the meal, someone will say, "ah...this was nice."  And someone else, usually my brother David, will say Grandma Fay's end of meal tagline: "Eh... it was better last time." 

I can remember her doing lots of cooking for me and my family over the years, both at her place and at ours.  There'd be all kinds of chopping, sauteeing, stirring, and the air would be filled with great aromas like onions and garlic and other great scents.  We'd all sit down to start devouring whatever dilectable meal she had served and we'd notice that her plate was empy or she hadn't even sat down with us.  When questioned, she'd respond, "I'm not hungry.  I've been noshing all day." 

When I came out to my parents at the age of 19, they told me not to tell Grandma Fay.  It killed me to not be able to, as I had always told her everything and anything.  She kept asking what was going on, as there was a definite tension in the air when she visited.  I kept telling her that I couldn't tell her.  So she started guessing.  "Is it school?" "No."  "Is it something to do with your siblings?"  "No."  Finally, she holds me by my shoulders, leans in close and in a hushed voice, she asks, "Are you having an affair with a married man?"  I replied with, "Mom WISHES I were having an affair with a married man!"  I laughed and she looked confused, but she didn't let up and when I finally told her months later, she said, "That's it?!  Jeesh, I thought it was something serious.  What's the big deal?  As long as you're not hurting anyone and you're happy, that's all that matters."  She was 69 years old at the time and it was 1977.  It wasn't like it was the cool topic that it is today.

She loved hanging out with me and my friends.  She even came with me to a gay bar and hung out with us on a few Sunday afternoons.  My friends loved her.  She'd bring her little lap dog, Tiki, with her.  She was the coolest Grandmother!

She just wanted me to be happy.  I am, Gram.

Happy 100th